AND MONEY

NEIGHBORHOOD ALERT: If a suspicious blonde lady comes up to you and begs to know if you can spare a dollar she can spend on drugs and hookers, she is lying. Her name is Kellyanne Conway, and she is panhandling because Donald Trump's transition team ain't got no money, and they need some to pay their own salaries. Do not give her money, as she will just throw it in the toilet by spending it on irresponsible things like "Sean Spicer" and "Hope Hicks" and "herself."

But it's not just that! She has to go to the glamorous land of Buffalo this Thursday, where she will be the big exciting celebrity guest at a $5,000 per person fundraiser for the transition team, so Donald Trump's check doesn't bounce, which would mean she couldn't buy eggs and private school for her kids in DC:

Conway will speak at a Thursday afternoon luncheon at the Westin Buffalo hotel. The $5000 per person event is intended to raise funds to cover the costs of Trump’s transition team, including their salaries.

(Presidential transitions are funded by federal AND private funds. As CNN explains, they get to set up tax-exempt organizations and can accept, shockingly enough, up to $5,000 per donor. The point is UH OH GUESS THEY DONE BLEW THROUGH THEIR MONEY.)

“Mr. Trump held a fundraiser down in New York City a few weeks back and did raise some money, but they have – I would use the word – ‘struggled’ to raise the private funds needed to pay these individuals who are working on behalf of the taxpayers but not being paid by the government,” said Congressman Chris Collins, who has been an advocate for Trump since early in his presidential campaign.

Rep. Collins says everybody is really excited to meet Kellyanne Conway for some reason, can't imagine why.

Now, it should be noted that they're not allowed to use leftover campaign funds to pay for the transition, but where's all the money Trump allegedly has in his bank account, that he was "self-funding" his campaign with? Couldn't he just move some money around so he can sign all his idiot minions' paychecks, or alternately, decide his transition team is doing a terrible job (it is!) and refuse to pay everybody, since that is a thing Trump likes to do?

Or, alternately, maybe Trump could use some of the money he raised from his sexxxy Mar-A-Lago New Year's Eve party (where Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski did NOT lead a naked conga line after the clock struck midnight, so stop saying they did!)! All those guests didn't buy access to the president-elect just to have Kellyanne Conway going to work in yesterday's pantyhose because the Trump transition is too poor to give her dollars! Oh wait, that money is just profit that goes directly Trump, because it's totally normal for American presidents to profit off the big resorts they own.

Oh well, Kellyanne Conway, we are sorry, but you signed up for this. Better go get that paper for ya daddy Trump!

[WBFO Buffalo]