If bullshit were music, she'd be a brass band.

Well, looks like the LYIN' COMEY thing fell flat. Even Commander Twitterfingers was like, "Nah, too obvious."

So now it's time for Plan B. That's your cue, Kellyanne! Because if there's anyone who can attack James Comey's credibility, it's noted ethical beacon Kellyanne Conway.

Good Lord, so many lies! Although we do appreciate a straight up villain to hate -- not someone who tried to do the "right thing" and ended up fucking the country. Here's Kellyanne wondering why James Comey wasted time in the Oval Office by insulting Trump's tanlines? Honestly, we have no fucking clue what she's on about.

What we don't understand is why, if you're going to meet the president of the United States, the president elect, you're not saying, "My ticker list is, I've got to tell him about the Russian interference. I must tell him about the investigations that are ongoing." Instead, he takes time to talk about the size of his hands and the length of his tie. That's really gutter.

Yeah, James Comey is really degrading the national discourse. Let's all repair to Donald Trump's Twitter prayer circle to heal the national spirit.

Also, Kellyanne thinks James Comey looked pretty nervous up there.

I think he struggled to answer basic questions. And he looked a little shaky.

Okay, girl. Whatever you say.

Why does this woman still talk like an extra on Jersey Shore? Anyway, this shit is boring. Give us one of your patented YUUUUGE LIES, Kellyanne.

Stephanopoulos: What we have from James Comey on all of his encounters with the president are notes, his contemporaneous conversations with others in the FBI. We know that all of that has been given to Robert Mueller. Does the president have any evidence to back up his side of the story?

Conway: I watched Jim Comey tell you last night he agreed with the president that Mike Flynn was quote "a good guy, a good man."

Eh, close. But that's more like a non-sequitur. Come on, you know you want to!

Conway: The president has made very clear that he never asked anyone to interfere in an investigation. And Jim Comey had admitted that in testimony. That nobody here had ever asked

him to drop an investigation for political reasons.

DING DING DING! We have a winner.

Stephanopoulos: I have to stop you there, because that is not correct. What James Comey was asked about in the Senate was if the Attorney General or anyone at the Justice Department ever asked him to stop an investigation. He said no. He was not asked about the president.

Every party has a pooper, right? But don't worry, Kellyanne, no one will remember you getting fact-checked. You made sure of that didn't you!

This guy swung an election!

This is Kellyanne's OH, SHIT! I JUST TOLD THE TRUTH face.


Dammit! She was just hitting her groove, talking 'bout Leakin' James Comey and how he got fired for being so mean to Hillary Clinton's emails. And now she's gotta go out there and tweet this nonsense.

Looks like someone's going to be grounded again! SAD. See you next month, Kellyanne.

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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