Kellyanne Conway "misspeaks" a lot. Like sometimes she means to order the steak, and instead she shouts, "I am in the process of eating my hand off RIGHT NOW!" Other times she's trying to describe why Donald Trump's Muslim ban is necessary, and she says it's because of that horrible event they don't teach the school children, because it never happened, called the Bowling Green Massacre. (OK fine, there was one in 1643, when white people slaughtered a fuckton of Native Americans, including babies in a really bad way. Kellyanne Conway does not know that.) When she said that to Chris Matthews, though, it was an accident. She meant the Bowling Green Kerfuffle That Didn't Happen In Bowling Green! Or something! Honest mistake, happens to all of us. Uh oh, getting breaking news right now that the Harrisburg Dinosaur Fisticuffs are happening, with dinosaurs, in Harrisburg!

Just kidding, we must have misspoken.

But it turns out Kellyanne Conway is "just kidding" quite frequently when it comes to the Bowling Green Massacre, which did not happen. She cites it often! Cosmopolitan magazine broke the story, citing an interview it did with Conway, where she said "Bowling Green Massacre" and spun around three times in a row or something:

[I]n an interview with ... on Sunday, Jan. 29, Conway used the same phrasing, claiming that President Barack Obama called for a temporary "ban on Iraqi refugees” after the “Bowling Green massacre.” (The quotes did not appear in either of two stories recently published on

"He did, it’s a fact," she said of Obama. "Why did he do that? He did that for exactly the same reasons. He did that because two Iraqi nationals came to this country, joined ISIS, traveled back to the Middle East to get trained and refine their terrorism skills, and come back here, and were the masterminds behind the Bowling Green massacre of taking innocent soldiers' lives away."

Cosmo decided to factcheck the blueberry princess, because literally if her mouth is moving, she's lying, and found that, for instance, according to the Justice Department, the men did not go back to Iraq for training. It's a given at this point that the men did not inflict a massacre on Bowling Green. But Conway told the magazine this just proves her point because here's why:

In a follow-up text exchange Sunday night, Conway wrote, "Frankly they were terrorists in Bowling Green but their massacre took place in Iraq. At least this got clear-thinking people to focus on what did happen in Bowling Green.

NOTHING. HAPPENED. IN. BOWLING GREEN! Let's also remember that Conway tells this story as a way of claiming President Obama did THE SAME THING and banned Iraqi refugees when these arrests happened. There was a slowdown, and there were new vetting processes implemented, but no, Obama did not do THE SAME THING.

Anyway, doesn't matter, because the Bowling Green Massacre is apparently Kellyanne Conway's very favorite story, like it's even better than the Bible or The Poky Little Puppy. The Daily Beast found Conway telling TMZ, also on January 29, that Trump's Muslim ban is necessary because Obama did THE SAME THING when he banned Iraqi refugees (again, Obama didn't) after the "Bowling Green Attack," because we guess you don't have to call the Bowling Green Massacre a "massacre" if you don't feel like it. You can call it an "attack" or a "spree" or "the Corvette museum," as long you're clear about the fact that a terrible thing happened in Bowling Green, Kentucky, and it was Obama's fault.

SHE MERELY MISSPOKE. Like a hundred times! You would do the same thing if you were a terrible person and a liar and on Donald Trump's payroll and your job was to lie and obfuscate and confuse the American public about what President Steve Bannon is doing to destroy the country.

Hey, did you hear the Trump administration offered to have Kellyanne Conway come on CNN on Sunday, but CNN was like "Fuck that liar, because she lies"? FAKE NEWS, WHY IS CNN COVERING UP THE BOWLING GREEN MASSACRE?

[Cosmopolitan / The Daily Beast]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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DHS photo (Every damn ICE pic looks like this)

Donald Trump's immigration goon squads were all set to start mass arrests and deportations of families in multiple cities Sunday, but before the raids started, he tweeted Saturday that he'd decided to delay the operation by two weeks -- to allow Democrats a chance to join Republicans in trashing US asylum law. Trump took a phone call Friday evening from Nancy Pelosi urging him to hold off on the raids, although it's also possible that internal disagreements about the operation at the Department of Homeland Security may have been part of the reason for the delay, too. In the meantime, Trump gets to terrify undocumented families some more and rant about deporting "millions," although the planned operation was actually targeted only at a couple thousand people who have already received deportation orders.

Immigration and Customs Enforcement had been gearing up to start raids in 10 US cities, including Los Angeles, Chicago, Miami, and Baltimore, to show how tough America is, and never mind that the sweeps would certainly have led to more family separations, as ICE scooped up at least some undocumented parents of children born in the US. The news also comes while the media is reporting filthy, inhuman conditions at the border camps where newly arrested immigrants, including babies, are being packed in, leading to plenty of awkward questions about why the government suddenly wants to arrest more people in the interior of the country? (Hint: President Eichmann just announced his reelection bid.)

The Great Deporter announced the delay of the operation Saturday by Twitter, as if that were normal, then followed up with more bluster Sunday.

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Kamala Harris was holding it down at the South Carolina Democratic Convention this weekend, and she wasn't just there to kick it at Clyburn's Fish Fry, hang out with Berndog Sanders, and just look extra good. No. She fucking running for President, and she's actually got a chance, unlike the many Mayo Casserole Men who keep jumping into the damn race. Why did they jump in after Kamala and Elizabeth Warren, the only people who are even running, clearly said, "We got it from here, boys"? Not sure, but regardless, it was unnecessary. Doesn't matter anyway because who is gonna remember Dadface McDorksky when Kamala is turning it the fuck out with speeches indicting Trump?

Do you believe in America? Kamala Harris believes in America, and her Saturday speech calls out for justice, and righteousness; where Barack Obama struck hopeful, dulcet, aspirational tones, Harris strikes sharp chords of urgency. To say that she read Trump the riot act would be, and is, an understatement; what she did here raised a crucial reality that some Dems refuse to see. Trump MUST be prosecuted. The Democratic nominee will wear many hats, and one of the most important of those hats is that of a prosecutor. There is a case to be made against Donald J. Trump, hell, there are so many cases, and as far as Harris is concerned, who better to make that case, but a COP? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Kamala Harris at the South Carolina Democratic Convention June, 22 2019

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