Kevin McCarthy, Assh*le

House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy went on the "60 Minutes" TV program to spew a bunch of Republican talking points about Donald Trump's call with Ukrainian President Volodomir Zelenskiy and brilliantly crammed his foot in his mouth nearly up to the ankle! He accused anchor Scott Pelley of adding words to what Trump said in the "transcript" (Pelley didn't) and then vigorously avoided the question of whether it's OK for US presidents to pressure foreign leaders to help them get dirt on an opponent. To top it all off, after not being all that familiar with the call "transcript," McCarthy took to Twitter to insist that if only Nancy Pelosi had seen the transcript, she never would have called for an impeachment inquiry. Whatever that transcript might have said.

Here's McCarthy spinning so fast he got dizzy and forgot what was even in the "transcript" -- as tweeted by the one Republican who thinks Trump should be impeached, Justin Amash.

Pelley: What do you think of this exchange? President Zelensky says, "We are almost ready to buy more Javelins from the United States for defense purposes." And President Trump replies, "I would like you to do us a favor, though."

McCarthy: You just added another word.

Pelley: No, it's in the transcript.

McCarthy: He said, "I'd like you to do a favor though"?

Pelley: No shit, Sherlock. I'm reading from the White House's "transcript," you dipwad.

Note:this transcript is 100 percent accurate and not embellished by the addition of any words.

You might think that before going on "60 Minutes" to explain how innocent Donald Trump is, as proven by "transcript," McCarthy might could read it over one more time, but homework is for losers and nerds.

McCarthy then did his best to dodge Pelley's questions about what Trump's defense in the impeachment inquiry will look like. "Defense of what?" There shouldn't be any impeachment, so why would the Great Man need a defense? Also, why don't you love the Troops, Scott Pelley? Why doesn't Nancy Pelosi love the Troops?

Pelley tried to get McCarthy to say whether he thought Trump's request was appropriate. McCarthy again deflected: Nancy Pelosi never heard the call, so what's up with impeachment, huh? Pelley wasn't having it, because come the fuck on, you're just repeating the White House talking points now -- the ones that were mistakenly emailed to congressional Democrats, OOPSIES!

McCarthy punted again, claiming he'd never seen any White House talking points, which seems a tad unlikely given that McCarthy was in the White House meeting where the official response was hammered out. But maybe he was napping like he was when he was getting ready for the interview. And then, asked again whether Trump had done a good thing, he went right back to the talking points, insisting the whistleblower hadn't heard the Trump-Zelenskiy call, so there can't be any impeachment because Donald Trump did nothing wrong. It was pretty impressive!

Then McCarthy, apparently chuckling "NAILED IT!" to himself, posted his own tweet with just 14 seconds of video repeating the talking points, and accused Nancy Pelosi of not knowing what was in the call before she called for an impeachment inquiry, because he's simply that smart:

Yep, the actual defense is going to be that even though we can all see Trump was pressuring Zelenskiy to help with the 2020 election, the whole thing is completely made up, because just look at all of those Hillary emails!

If they're spinning this badly already, we can hardly wait to see what they come up with in the actual hearings. It'll be a doozy, we're sure.

[The Hill / Politico]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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