Kevin McCarthy Knows A Secret About Eric Swalwell And Chinese Spy, But SHHHHH IT'S CLASSIFIED!

GOP House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy is a busy little bonkers this week!

Lying about terrorists from Yemen, Turkey, and Iran doing their best impression of four-year-old Central American kids and sneaking across the Mexican border? Check!

Sending "Dear Colleague" letters to his caucus demanding Democratic Rep. Eric Swalwell be removed from the House Intelligence Committee, definitely because Eric Swalwell did SOMETHING VERY BAD WITH CHINESE SPY, and not at all because he's desperately looking for a Democratic rep to punish in order to distract from all the QANazis seeping into his caucus, one of whom, Marjorie Taylor Greene, had to be literally removed from all her committees for being such garbage?

Also check!

According to McCarthy's letter, he is "deeply disturbed" by what he found out in a briefing he received with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on December 18, about Swalwell doing SOMETHING VERY BAD WITH CHINESE SPY. "I firmly believe that if any other member attended that briefing with us, he or she would reach this same conclusion," McCarthy wrote, without adding, "You know, if they were a full-of-shit Republican like meeeeeeeeeeee!"

His letter says he's not taking this lightly, you guys!

But, you know, he can't tell you what happened in the briefing, because classified. And Pelosi doesn't seem to have the same problem with whatever she heard in that briefing. But it's VERY BAD!

Let's review what Eric Swalwell has been accused of:Not much.

During the lame duck period of Trump's presidency, the part after he lost real hard and tried to pretend he hadn't, Axios came out with a big story we are almost certain Trump people leaked in order to hurt Eric Swalwell. It said he is BANGING SOOOOOOO MANY CHINESE SPIES RIGHT NOW just kidding no it didn't.

A Chinese national named Fang Fang/Christine Fang reportedly had sidled up to a bunch of US American politicians between 2011 and 2015. (Swalwell was first elected to Congress in November 2012.) She was involved with his re-election campaign in 2014, but then in 2015, Swalwell got a defensive briefing from the FBI about who this person was, and that year, she also mysteriously ghosted America and went back to China. Swalwell cut off all contact.

Separately, Fang reportedly did intercoursal spy fucking with some Midwestern mayors.

Swalwell was never and has never been accused of wrongdoing. He was never and has never been accused of giving the Chinese spy classified information. She may have been trying to gather intel from Swalwell and several other politicians, including Ro Khanna and Tulsi Gabbard, to whom she also sidled up, but this letter from McCarthy today is about ERIC SWALWELL BAD, PLEASE STAY ON THE SUBJECT OF ERIC SWALWELL BAD.

Besides, people said, Swalwell's dad and brother were still Facebook friends with the spy until all this news came out! Which proves they might have played Farmville with her at some point!

But yeah.

Kevin McCarthy didn't queen out about Chinese spies when it came out that Ivanka and Jared got defensive briefings about how Wendi Deng Murdoch, ex-wife of Rupert and BFF of Ivanka Trump, mighta been using her relationship with them to benefit the Chinese government. And Ivanka and Jared had totally normal and legally procured top secret security clearances!

Guess that wasn't an issue.

We are sure this is much worse, though. Kevin McCarthy, paragon of honesty and vector of unvarnished truth, says it's very bad. He just can't tell us why because CLASSIFIED.

Sounds legit.

By the way, Rep. Brad Wenstrup of Ohio, one of the most uproariously stupid GOP members of the House Intel Committee, went on Fox News this week yammering his little nuts off about this, claiming Swalwell is at best simply too gullible to be on the Intel Committee if he couldn't tell this Chinese spy was trying to collude him. (The GOP members also would like a briefing from FBI Director Christopher Wray on how bad Eric Swalwell really is.)

Which brings up a lot of questions about approximately NINE MILLION FORMER TRUMP CAMPAIGN STAFFERS and DONALD TRUMP'S CHILDREN and DONALD TRUMP HIMSELF, who must have also been very naive and gullible if they didn't know there was a literal army of Russian spies living inside each and every one of their asscaverns starting the day Trump walked down that escalator in 2015.

Bet Kevin McCarthy and his caucus will become very concerned about that any day now. Hell, it's not like it's new information to him. He told Paul Ryan and other GOP colleagues way back in 2016 he was pretty sure Putin was paying Trump.

Oh what, is that somehow not relevant right now?

Fuck off.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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