Kevin McCarthy Says GOP Big Tent Of Diverse Thinkers Free To Worship Trump Each In Their Own Unique Way

Right Wing Extremism

On Monday, the first day of the week when House Republicans are expected to expel from leadership their third-highest ranking member, Liz Cheney, for aggravated wrongthink — specifically for refusing to tell the lie that Donald Trump won an election he actually lost really hard — House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy decided to send his colleagues a letter. To lay out their shared values. To encourage his people on what must be a hard day for them. To reassure them they're holy and pure and doing the right thing.

Wonkette will now read that letter.


We'll paste the first two grafs but you can skim them, they're not important.

Friends,

I am humbled and honored to lead this team and work alongside each one of you. As a conference and a party, we are rooted in the ideals of freedom and opportunity. We fiercely defend free speech and personal responsibility. And we know that America is at its best when the people decide their destiny, not politicians in Washington. Their voice is our vote.

When I ran my first small business, I quickly learned that as a leader, you need to be the first to work, the last to leave, and the last to be paid. I have endeavored to take this same approach as leader of our conference, putting the interests of our members ahead of my own. Just as we serve at the will of our constituents, this leadership team should exist to serve you, not the other way around.

This is all filibustering pablum, but we will note that the "first to work, last to leave" is kinda amazing, considering how McCarthy literally left one of his members stranded in his office the day of the Capitol attack, after which that member had to grab a decorative Civil War sword for protection and crouch on McCarthy's toilet to hide from the invading hordes.

Here's where it gets good.

It had been my hope that our driving focus would be taking back the House in 2022 and implementing our Commitment to America. Despite the mainstream media working overtime against us, I believe we still have a great chance to do so. Unfortunately, each day spent relitigating the past is one day less we have to seize the future.

Emphasis on "seize." He could have used another verb, but we guess he was having a Freudian moment, so as a Republican leader in the year 2021, he chose "seize." Not "win." He said "seize."

This is no time to take our eye off the ball. If we are to succeed in stopping the radical Democrat agenda from destroying our country, these internal conflicts need to be resolved so as to not detract from the efforts of our collective team. Having heard from so many of you in recent days, it's clear that we need to make a change. As such, you should anticipate a vote on recalling the Conference Chair this Wednesday.

They've all brought their concerns about the Nasty McYetShePersisted who refuses to say the Big Lie, and Kevin McCarthy, a real leader, is doing something about these "internal conflicts" Liz Cheney is starting with her refusal to say the Big Lie.

Please sit down before you read this next line:

We are a big tent party. We represent Americans of all backgrounds and continue to grow our movement by the day.

Stop laughing, it's not funny!

Republicans are a Big Tent! They're welcome to believe Donald Trump's Big Lie any way they want, as long they believe it! There are many ways to worship Dear Leader, and Republicans welcome all styles of worship. They are a diverse lot, after all, comprising every single type of white person there is. As long as they swear a blood oath to the fart clouds that surround the greatest loser president in the history of America and never stop lying to the American people and saying he really won the election, and they'll be fine.

And unlike the left, we embrace free thought and debate.

Yeah, it's not like you're gonna get cancel cultured if you dare to go against the ... OK, well anyway, letter almost over!

All members are elected to represent their constituents as they see fit, but our leadership team cannot afford to be distracted from the important work we were elected to do and the shared goals we hope to achieve. The stakes are too high to come up short. I trust you agree.

Thank you for your attention to this matter and your service to our nation.

Kevin

Wait, what's that "important work" again? Do Republicans have policy beliefs besides preserving white supremacy by destroying democracy? We must have missed them.

God, Kevin McCarthy is an empty-shelled piece of shit of a man.

[McCarthy letter]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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