Donate

Last I checked, Kirstjen Nielsen was still secretary of Homeland Security. This is despite two children having died in Border Patrol custody this month. For anything other than the Evil Department of Dead Kids, these are terrible results. So, why does Nielsen still have a job? It's certainly not because of her ability to convincingly express the emotions we humans call "remorse" and "compassion."

Nielsen released a statement Wednesday about the Christmas Eve death of Felipe Gomez Alonzo, who goes unnamed in Nielsen's comments. She refers to him simply as the "8-year-old Guatemalan child" and to his death as a "passing" like he's someone's 90-year-old nana who'd lived a full life.


In the evening hours of December 24th, a child who had been apprehended with his father by the Border Patrol attempting to illegally enter the United States, died at an El Paso hospital after being taken for emergency treatment for the second time in less than 12 hours. This tragedy, the death of a child in government custody is deeply concerning and heartbreaking.

Nielsen tries to "Happy Holidays" her ass out of this mess by stating that Gomez died "in the evening hours of December 24." Did she think we'd forget this was Christmas Eve when little drummer boys play solos and Rudolph guides Santa's sleigh? She also accuses Gomez of trying to "illegally enter" the country as if he's a common criminal and not a minor child who isn't responsible for the choices his father makes. Nielsen states with all the conviction of her shriveled soul that Gomez's death was "deeply concerning" and, if she had one, "heartbreaking." Lady, no Doctor Who Christmas special this year is "deeply concerning." We're talking about a dead child, which by the way you were just talking about with Congress exactly a week ago.

Nielsen was careful not to "promise" that no more children would die in government custody. Boy, would that have been embarrassing! Instead, she delivered this mealymouthed mumbo jumbo: "You have my commitment to ensure that all of our detention centers take good care of those in our care." I guess this means she doesn't plan on personally killing any kids.

During her testimony before Congress, Nielsen blamed the family of Jakelin Caal Maquin, 7, for her death because they apparently didn't read Rick Steves or Fodor's when planning their trip to the US.

NIELSEN: "To put this in perspective, this is exactly why we try to encourage migrants to go a port of entry. Unfortunately, they arrived in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere."

It's true. If families arrive in the middle of nowhere, having crossed a desert, people might get charged for trying to give them water so their seven-year-old children DON'T die of dehydration.

Nielsen wasn't done blaming families for the death of their children. She had this to say in her statement about Gomez.

In recent months, we have seen a dramatic increase at the border of families and unaccompanied children crossing our border illegally. In the last two months alone, the Border Patrol has apprehended 139,817 illegal aliens on the Southwest Border as compared to 74,946 during the same time frame of FY 2018. This is an increase of 86%. In just two months into this fiscal year we have seen 68,510 family units and 13,981 unaccompanied children. This is a dramatic change from historical trends and has only become starker in December.

Why is she using the term "fiscal year"? Why is she so bad at this? Also, Trump has been president for two years and Nielsen's argument is that illegal immigration has only gotten worse? Who else can Nielsen blame for children dying on her watch? How about liberals?

Our system has been pushed to a breaking point by those who seek open borders. Smugglers, traffickers, and their own parents put these minors at risk by embarking on the dangerous and arduous journey north. This crisis is exacerbated by the increase in persons who are entering our custody suffering from severe respiratory illnesses or exhibit some other illness upon apprehension.

We get it. Everyone else sucks. What are you going to do about your dead kid problem? Because frankly a pattern is emerging.

After Jakelin's death, Nielsen appeared last week on "Fox & Friends," which is a receptive audience for her. They were totally understanding of Nielsen's complaints that illegal immigrants make her life really difficult and if they'd only just stop illegally immigrating, she wouldn't have to be bothered whenever one of them dies as a result of her department's negligence.

Nielsen has proposed some "extraordinary" protective measures in response to the "surge" of immigrant children in US custody.

At my direction, all children in Border Patrol custody have been given a thorough medical screening. Moving forward, all children will receive a more thorough hands on assessment at the earliest possible time post apprehension – whether or not the accompanying adult has asked for one.

I have also spoken with our partners in Mexico to ask that they begin to investigate the causes of these illnesses on their side of the border and to provide medical assistance in shelters as needed.

Dear Mexico: Please stop sending sick kids or cure pneumonia. Whichever's easier. I won't micromanage. Love, Kirstjen.

With that sort of visionary leadership, DHS remains on schedule for yet another horrible death in the coming weeks.

Follow Stephen Robinson on Twitter.

Yr Wonkette is supported ONLY by reader donations, and it's the end of the year! You know: only if you are able.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Seattle. However, he's more reliable for food and drink recommendations in Portland, where he spends a lot of time for theatre work. His co-adaptation of "Jitterbug Perfume" by Tom Robbins runs from March through May at Pioneer Square's Cafe Nordo.

$
Donate with CC

Can we just say that when Fox idiot Maria Bartiromo sounds like the sane person in a situation, that is a worrisome situation? That is what happened when Donald Trump -- who's just had a fantastic Infrastructure Week, assuming it is Infrastructure Week, and we always do -- sat down for what was supposed to be an easy breezy "You're the best!"/"No YOU are, Mister President!" interview with his beloved Fox pals.

Instead Maria Bartiromo had to ask the question on everybody's mind, which is WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU OH MY GOD, or, more clearly, is there a reason you have spent this entire week of your presidency picking a fight with a dead guy, who somehow seems to be winning that fight, because you are literally so stupid and incompetent you LOSE FIGHTS TO DEAD GUYS?

She said it nicer than that, though.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Last fall, after Wisconsin voters rejected Gov. Scott Walker's reelection bid and chose Democrat Tony Evers instead, Republicans in the state legislature got very busy doing anything they could to limit the power of the incoming governor and the new Democratic attorney general, Josh Kaul. Hey, voters may have chosen Evers, but that didn't mean Rs had to let Democrats actually govern, now did it? As Republican state House Speaker Robin Vos rather notoriously said at the time, the lege had to act because "We are going to have a very liberal governor who is going to enact policies that are in direct contrast to what many of us believe in." So in a two day "extraordinary session," the Republicans shifted power from the executive branch and gave those powers to the legislature, which conveniently remained in Republican control thanks to gerrymandering. Scott Walker signed the bills and then began his career as an idiot on Twitter.

Yesterday, a Wisconsin judge found the entire lame duck session violated the state constitution, and invalidated the laws it passed. Dane County Circuit Judge Richard Niess said in his decision the Wisconsin constitution is quite specific about when the legislature can meet, and nope, the "extraordinary session" didn't meet the constitutional requirements, so sorry guys, you didn't follow the rules and your laws ARE MOOT.

The Associated Press lawsplains the constitutional neener-neener:

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc