Kraken Lawyers Forced To Pay Back Taxpayers For Legal Bills In Crap Election Suits

Legal

Sidney Powell was told there would be no math. Or if there was math, it would be confined to wholly fantastical numbers made up by her own expert witnesses, not a detailed accounting of what it cost taxpayers to fend off her garbage Kraken lawsuits.

But those nerds in Detroit and the Michigan statehouse just had to brown nose it. They turned in an actual accounting of their time spent protecting democracy after US District Judge Linda V. Parker told Powell and the derp squad to cough it up for spamming the docket with bogus affidavits and prolonging their attempt to overturn the election after the electoral votes were certified on January 6 — despite the best efforts of people who believed Powell's Big Lie to put a stop to it.

So now Our Sid and her lawyer are asking the judge not to be so literal about those numbers.


"The Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals has made it clear that courts need not act as 'green eyeshade accountants' when reviewing sanctions requests," she whined, citing a 2017 Supreme Court opinion in support of the proposition that "Sanctions under the Court's inherent authority should be compensatory rather than punitive."

But no math should be used to determine appropriate compensation, because UGHHH SHUT UP DORK.

"[T]he primary concern is deterring future misconduct," said the person who just said sanctions should be compensatory rather than punitive — and oh, who just yesterday claimed that two people in Georgia were murdered to scare Gov. Kemp off conducting an audit of the state's election results.

And while Powell objects to those government bean counters being too precise about their time, she's also pissed that they're not being precise enough about the minutes and hours they spent kicking her ass in this case. She's mad that the City of Detroit billed in 15-minute increments, rather than 10, and she's mad that they used block billing to aggregate a bunch of tasks into a larger time period, and she wants the city to take a big haircut on its bill for not using sharp enough pencils, those slackers.Truly, this woman doth contain multitudes.

In fairness, we are not qualified to evaluate the claim that Detroit shouldn't be able to collect a fee for the time it spent on the plaintiffs' abortive appeal. That is way above our pay grade. We will note, however, that there never was a live case anywhere but the trial court — there was just shambolic racing from the Sixth Circuit to the Supreme Court, vomiting nonsense petitions that went nowhere, then back to Judge Parker to file a hasty motion to dismiss in an attempt to ward off these very sanctions.

And while we are noting inconvenient facts, let us point out that Powell is clearly feeling no economic pain from this debacle, having just paid $1.2 million in cash for an office in Alexandria, the better to ply her trade in DC and its environs. Something to keep in mind when Powell demands her right to dine and dash, leaving Michigan taxpayers with the $220,000 legal bill.

Hey, remember when Judge Parker said these sanctions had to hurt a little to act as deterrence, since these crap lawsuits functioned as a de facto grift machine?

The Court is troubled that Powell is profiting from the filing of this and other frivolous election-challenge lawsuits. See https://defendingtherepublic.org (website of company run by Powell on which donations are solicited to support the "additional cases [being prepared] every day"). Other attorneys for Plaintiffs may be as well, given that their address (according to the filings here) is the same address listed on this website. What is concerning is that the sanctions imposed here will not deter counsel from pursuing future baseless lawsuits because those sanctions will be paid with donor funds rather than counsel's. In this Court's view, this should be considered by any disciplinary authority reviewing counsel's behavior.

Well, good luck with that, Team Kraken.

[King v. Whitmer, Docket via Court Listener]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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