Kris Kobach Wants You To Suck On His Fake Machine Gun
The Second Amendment is very specific about the right of politicians to wave guns for political purposes
Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach was thoroughly humiliated in this spring's federal trial over Kansas's stupid voter-suppression law. The judge had to keep reminding Kobach about the basics of trial procedure, and his backup lawyers looked every bit as inept as he did. Then, immediately following the trial, the judge found Kobach in contempt of court for having ignored her orders in an earlier phase of the case.
So it makes perfect sense that Kobach, who's now challenging sitting Governor Jeff Colyer in the Republican primary, would go looking for an issue that has absolutely nothing to do with voting or voter suppression, because while Kansans do love engineering a Republican majority, even some Kobach supporters know the trial made him look like A IDIOT. So it's awfully fortunate for Kobach that he somehow managed to whip up a frenzy about guns, just two weeks after another school massacre. The man may be a shitty lawyer, but he's been an exceptionally effective troll throughout his political career.
Kobach, cannily throwing some red meat to Republican primary voters, attended the Old Shawnee Days parade standing in the back of a flag-patterned Jeep next to a replica of a .50-caliber machine gun, because a gaudy vehicle without a gun wouldn't make it clear he was also honoring veterans, you see. But mostly the Second Amendment, and the right of all American to defend themselves, as Kobach pointed out in his completely spontaneous post-parade tweet, which very subtly brings up the issue:
Had a blast riding in the Old Shawnee Days Parade in this souped up jeep with a replica gun. Those who want to restrict the right to keep and bear arms are deeply misguided. The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. #ksleg #ksgov #TeamKobach pic.twitter.com/ZULBEYTqUW— Kris W. Kobach (@KrisKobach1787) June 2, 2018
Never mind that, no, the Second Amendment doesn't actually allow random people to own fully automatic weapons, that's not the point. The point is campaigning through trolling: Kobach is happy to piss off anyone who might think it's tasteless to go literally parading around a machine gun in people's faces after a school shooting, because few of those people would vote in a Republican primary anyway. Now that people are (further) disgusted with him, he gets to be both a huge supporter of the Second Amendment AND a victim of rampant political correctness.
One parent at the parade, Johnny Lewis, told the Kansas City Star, "It was pretty shocking [...] There were audible gasps from the folks we were sitting by." Lewis, the pastor of Shawnee Community Christian Church, also took to the Twitter to explain that with kids on edge about school shootings and lockdown drills, Kobach had sent the wrong message:
with (I assume a fake but very real looking) huge mounted automatic rifle with visible ammunition rounds hanging from it and pointed at the crowd. Why sir? My child didn’t need that today. Don’t care what your position is on second amendment that is completely unnecessary.— Johnny Lewis (@jlewispastor) June 2, 2018
No, not at all -- Kobach sent exactly the message he intended to send, and it was deliberately provocative, churlish, and most importantly, lapped up by the pro-gun people he wanted to reach, like the guy who replied to Lewis that if his daughter really was upset (which never happened anyway), well then, she "has emotional problems probably caused by your irrational behavior," or the patriot who told the pastor that he isn't allowed to say political things, because separation of church and state, and so he should "Keep your mouth shut and teach your kid to be a damn man." Which she may not actually want to do. Or she may! Perhaps that patriot is being very inclusive and not assuming gender. And whatnot.
Another Tweeter simply asked, you know WHO ELSE goes riding around with military weapons mounted in the back of a civilian vehicle?
Trump loyalist and Republican gubernatorial candidate Kris Kobach doing an ISIS impression during today's parade pic.twitter.com/mDWJ83bc0l— Brandon Friedman (@BFriedmanDC) June 2, 2018
The Washington Post also notes that a few pro-gun folks objected to the Jeep and the gun, pointing out that flat-out military weapons aren't useful for self-defense unless a platoon of ChiComs are bearing down on your position near the Chosin Reservoir:
“If you wanted to show support for the 2nd Amendment, why didn’t you just carry a pistol on your hip?” [a Facebook] commenter wrote. “Why the big gun. Those ARE man killers. Replica or not, that was a dumb move. I’ve always liked Kobach, and I hope he makes better moves than this in the future.”
The parade organizers apologized for the display and promised to make sure something like that never happens again, but Kobach couldn't have been happier to reap the harvest of notoriety, because as we say, patriotism, the Troops, and guns. He told a local teevee station that he thought the jeep looked really cool and that, duh, it symbolized the US military, what with the machine gun and all. To which a small but determined group of accuracy nerds objected that, no, a CJ-5 with chrome wheels, oversized tires, and a roll bar is no more a military vehicle than Kris Kobach has a military service record.
Kobach insisted he was quite sure "99 percent of the people were reacting very positively, taking pictures of the Jeep, giving me a thumbs ups," and added, in what appears to be a verbatim quote, "I think it’s kind of amusing that snowflakes today think that people be afraid at the sight of a gun." We'd point out the grammatical error in that sentence, but that would make us elitists.
Then he went on the Twitter again to rub his fake gun in everyone's face, and dear god he likes the word "snowflakes":
The outrage over the replica gun on the back of a patriotic jeep is the left trying to attack guns and your #2A rights. I will not back down in the face of a snowflake meltdown and outrage culture. https://t.co/FONJBWZWMM #ksleg pic.twitter.com/TEtyFtQ7rT— Kris W. Kobach (@KrisKobach1787) June 4, 2018
The link there is to Dead Breitbart's Home For Endless Culture War, which gave the event an appreciative write-up, calling Kobach a "staunch supporter of pro-American immigration policies," and offered Kobach an "exclusive" interview in which he once again got to use his favorite new word. Calling everyone who complained about the machine gun part of "the Left’s larger crusade to make guns socially unacceptable,” Kobach explained,
“For centuries in America, most parades have featured men with guns—whether it be the color guard carrying the flag, or military equipment old and new,” Kobach told Breitbart News. “The snowflakes now want to erase this American tradition because someone might be offended.”
Excellent point! Except that, what with this being a fake gun in a civilian vehicle, there was no military hardware at all on display, including the candidate, who went straight from law school into politics. But again, not the point. The point is serving up some red meat in a very, very close Republican race that has a very large percentage of undecided voters, with two months to go before the primary election on August 7.
Sadly for Kobach and his newfound issue, the Jeep just missed the June 1 filing deadline for the lieutenant governor's race.
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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.