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Photo Credit: Tablet Magazine


Way back before your Five Dollar Feminist began snarking on this fine Mommyblog, she was just another asshole in real estate. She was never a big macher like Jared Kushner, but still, the late '90s and early 2000s were a pretty good time to be a kulak. By 2005, however, things started to get weird. Banks were lending to absolutely anyone, and inexperienced investors were buying up properties assuming they'd be able to sell in a year for a big profit. One day your 5DF saw a dilapidated house sell to some poor sucker for 250% of what it had sold for only three years prior. It was that day that she knew it was time to GTFO!!!, since the bottom was about to fall out of the real estate market.

Around that time, Jared Kushner was trying to figure out how to trade up from Hoovervilles to fancy high-rises in Manhattan and New Jersey. His family had been in real estate forever, but somehow he looked at the train barreling toward the market and thought, "Now's the time to take the plunge!" Being rich and arrogant, Kushner was sure that the laws of gravity and financial cycles were no match for his prodigious business acumen. Born on third base, thought he hit a home run.

If this fine blog had a soundtrack, it would be here that the happy, major chords would shift into a sinister, minor key. As red-blooded Americans, we would know that something BAD was about to happen. But for today, you'll have to settle for a GIF.