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Kwame Kilpatrick Blames Sexy Text Messages On Hackers

Kwame Kilpatrick, the laughable clown and still-not-fired mayor of Detroit, suggests that INTERNET HAXXORS may have gotten into his phone and sent slutty text messages to his chief of staff. His defense team is arguing that the prosecution (he might go to jail for perjury, obstruction of justice, and aggravated LOLing) must prove that the Mayor himself, and not some prankster, wrote the half-literate messages promising sexytime at theBenz Chili Bowl. At least one legal expert reckons this will not be too difficult. [Freep.com]

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Bexar County -- Texas, of course -- Sheriff's Deputy Jose Nunez, 46, is facing a minimum of 25 years to life in prison if convicted of sexually abusing the child of an undocumented immigrant. Not only did he abuse the child, who he was reportedly related to, he also decided it would be a great idea to terrorize the mother by threatening to deport her if she told. Apparently too afraid to go to the police department, the mother went to the local fire station seeking help for her abused child.

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Associated Press via ABC- From Bexar County Sheriff's Office
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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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