Kyle Rittenhouse, Conservative America’s Teen Dream Killing Machine

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What is there to say about people who think it was acceptable for cops to shoot up Breonna Taylor in her own home (damaging precious dry wall in the process) but that Kyle Rittenhouse, who broke actual laws, is an American hero? They are obviously racists obsessed with white innocence. Young Rittenhouse is just a poor boy from a poor family.

Last Thursday, Rittenhouse's mother, Wendy, and his lawyer, John Pierce, attended a Wisconsin Republican event in Waukesha County. Perpetual rage machine, Michelle Malkin, brought Wendy Rittenhouse on stage where the audience gave her a standing ovation for raising a child who murdered two people and gravely injured a third. This might make sense if they were Klingons, who believe a child is a man “the day he can first hold a blade," but these people claim to follow the teachings of noted cuck Jesus Christ.

Malkin shared a photo on Twitter of herself with Wendy Rittenhouse and her son's homicide attorney. She boasted that she'd spoken to Kyle Rittenhouse on the phone and “thanked him for his courage." It takes as much courage to shoot someone as talent was required to produce that Justice League movie.


It doesn't seem like anyone was wearing masks or socially distancing at this event. Presumably, they were only prepared to gun down COVID-19, preferably in its own bed. The smile on Wendy Rittenhouse's face is very different from the anguish you see from the mothers of Breonna Taylor, Jacob Blake, Ahmaud Arbery, Tamir Rice, and Trayvon Martin. She looks confident that the system is going to work out in her son's favor ... either that or she's very pleased with her chicken piccata appetizer.

This is the same week that the man who killed Taylor was charged with felony wall defacement, so you can understand why we might think Kyle Rittenhouse might never see a day in prison. His “innocence" was openly proclaimed by future QAnon congresswoman, Majorie Taylor Greene.

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Wisconsin prosecutors have charged Rittenhouse with a crime, but conservatives like Greene have no problem publicly disagreeing with that decision, while hiding behind Mitch McConnell's pet attorney general's burial of the case against Taylor's killers.

Rittenhouse was a vigilante who placed himself in a dangerous situation after illegally obtaining an assault rifle. You can't claim “self-defense" for a violent altercation you personally initiate. If that theory had any legal merit, Johnny Cochrane would've tried it with O.J. Simpson. Of course, Simpson was only a rich and a celebrity. He wasn't a random white kid.

Greene responded to a tweet from Shannon Watts, founder of Moms Demand Action, and declared that she'd oppose ALL gun control legislation and will “defend our GREAT Second Amendment always." Yeah, guns are so awesome, two people are dead and another person permanently disabled. Rittenhouse is a coward who never would've been within 1,000 miles of the incident if he wasn't toting artificial, high-caliber “courage." Guns make everything worse. But Greene thinks this was a positive outcome. I enjoy a nice cocktail, but if a teenager got wasted (illegally) and took a car on a joyride (illegally) and killed some people, I wouldn't consider that a great moment for the 21st Amendment.

Former Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi also defended Rittenhouse last week. She told Sean Hannity that Young Goodman Rittenhouse was a “little boy" trying to “protect his community," which was in a different state where he committed his murders.

From Newsweek:

"You have got a 17-year-old out there trying to protect his state," Bondi said, despite the fact the teenager traveled from his hometown in Antioch, Illinois, to attend the protests on August 25.

Bondi is used to lying — she defended Trump during his impeachment sham trial — but this one is a king-sized Double Whopper. She also kept mentioning that Rittenhouse was only a child of 17, which I suppose was intended to make him seem innocent, but it just reinforces that he was guilty of openly carrying an assault rifle.

Gun rights advocates who adore Rittenhouse have tried to claim he falls under the “just out hunting" exception. However, human beings — even so-called looters and rioters — are never in season. Rittenhouse was playing-acting as a cop, but all he did was create the sort of “gang violence" conservatives pretend to care about whenever they mention Chicago.

When I was in college, a film professor interpreted the ending of Taxi Driver as Travis Bickle's dying fantasy. It just wasn't realistic that the media and the American people would embrace a violent psychopath as a “hero" just because he killed the “right people." That's a charmingly naive view. Today's Travis Bickle would become a Fox News folk hero and recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

[Newsweek]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).

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