Ladies! Lindsey Graham Says You Can Do Anything, Long As You Do It As A Stepford Wife


When I was a kid, my neighbor had the Barbie "We Girls Can Do Anything" Game, pictured above. While my fear of developing unrealistic expectations of women's bodies (Thanks, Mom!) and belief that all dolls were probably haunted would not allow me to play with Barbie dolls, the board game was my compromise position. I liked board games. This one showed girls they could have just about any job in the whole world, so long as it was in some way conducive to wearing a pink evening gown.

Costume not available, indeed.

At a campaign event yesterday in Conway, South Carolina, Lindsay Graham offered a similar take. Which surprises me even less than it would surprise me to discover that he has an entire attic full of haunted dolls. Or is, himself, a haunted doll.

I mean, put a little sailor suit on him and the similarities would be striking.

A picture of Robert, the haunted doll

He explained to a sparse crowd of people at ... whatever this thing was, that women can totally do stuff, just like Amy Coney Barrett, so long as they stay within the parameters of what Lindsey Graham believes they should do and think.

He said:

You know what I like about Judge Barrett? She's got everything. She's not just wicked smart, she's incredibly good. She embraces her faith. I want every young woman to know — there's a place for you in America, if you're pro-life. If you embrace your religion, and you follow traditional family structure, that you can go anywhere, young lady!

Ladies, Lindsey Graham has no problem with you having "rights" or even a job, so long as you are religious, heterosexually married and willing to be a broodmare.

But hey! You know who actually does not follow "traditional family structure?" Confirmed Bachelor Lindsey Graham. He's not married, he doesn't have kids. He is single. That is not the "traditional family structure." So is this simply a standard for us womenfolk? Guess so!

Of course, that's not too far off from what many in Trumplandia believe. I came across this gem just today on the r/Trump subreddit.

Pin-up girl washing dishes, text reads "Make America Great again"

And that generated this amazing response.

"For anyone wondering," explained user iforgotmycat, "the marjority of women didn't even want more rights because it meant more responsibility for them."

Redditor ResistRealityArt responded "Nothing wrong with rights as long as one can keep their legs shut and wait until marriage." You know, just like Donald Trump did.

Now, some might feel inclined to generously interpret Graham's statement as saying that there is a place for pro-life, religious women with traditional families in America, in addition to all the other kinds of women there is a place for in America. Or that these women need not be left out of things. But it's clear that he doesn't mean that at all, as he said something very similar about Black people during his October town hall, saying that they are totally free to go anywhere in South Carolina, "so long as they are conservative, not liberal. "

This makes it clear that Graham's position here is "Sure, you can have rights and do things, but only so long as you agree that I am right about things, live your life the way I tell you to and can wear a pink evening gown while doing so."

Right now, because he sucks so much and people hate him, Graham is in a very tight race with Democrat Jaime Harrison, who is great. There's only a few days left, but if you wanna send Harrison some money to help with the final push, you can do so here.

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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