LaGuardia 'A Third World Country'? Say It Ain't So, Joe Biden!


We give much love to Old Handsome Joe"Now You're Jack Kennedy!" Biden because he is excellent and pretty much the perfect wacky, free-wheeling, avuncular Vice Presidential complement to Barry's somnolent rationality. But we also have integrity, so we are gonna call Joe Biden out: New York's fine LaGuardia airport is not like "a third world country," as he said during a recent performance of his popular traveling show Infrastructure Revue & Burlesque, of which POLITICO has made this supercut. Uh oh, it's a #slatepitch!

There is really nothing wrong with LaGuardia that isn't also wrong with "airports." Not all airports, but many, especially those built a long time ago. It's not pretty, it's crowded, the food is just okay, and the layout may test your problem solving skills. But it works. Planes go in and out. You can get a drink. It's not hard to get to, really! The M60 bus will take you there in 10 minutes from the Astoria Boulevard subway stop, which is serviced by a train you can get from midtown Manhattan. We kind of imagined that Joe Biden has a map of every major city's transit system committed to memory, but APPARENTLY NOT!

You wanna talk Third World airports? How about Mogadishu's, where it was a big deal when they finally dragged the remains of a Russian transport plane that had been shot down off the runway and onto a side street, where it's being picked apart for scrap. Or Tulza Air Base in Bosnia, where Hillary Clinton maybe landed under sniper fire in 1996, not because she was First Lady, but just because there are lots of places where people like to shoot at planes, because they're mad, or just because!

Surprisingly, people don't do that too much in New York. Just watch out for the snowy owls:

A total of five planes were hit by snowy owls at Kennedy, LaGuardia and Newark airports in recent weeks, the Port Authority told the Associated Press.

"Were hit by snowy owls" is interesting. Were the stupid birds mistaking airliners for their usual prey?

In conclusion, LaGuardia is actually the best NYC airport because it doesn't suck to get to from the actual city of New York. Also it's named after Fiorello LaGuardia, who was like a more liberal Bill de Blasio, and a Republican. Weird how things change, huh?

Go get a Twitter and then follow Alex on it!

[POLITICO / / / / google books]


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc