Donate

It's Day 33 of Donald Trump's government shutdown over his idiotic WALL. Far too many federal workers are without pay and are hurting. Don't worry, though, Trump has charged his incredibly competent surrogates with keeping up morale while the beatings continue.

Lara Trump, who is married to the president's son Eric and deserves it, was interviewed Tuesday on "Bold TV." That's apparently a real thing. She regurgitated some tired-ass racist talking points about Democrats "working on their tans" in Puerto Rico rather than working on behalf of their constituents. (Who don't want WALL, either.) She wrongly claimed "the people" back the president's WALL, and she stupidly pointed out that Trump has generously invited Democrats to the White House to negotiate. Does Lara realize that Nancy Pelosi has already been to the White House multiple times, with and without her gavel of death? She's visited when actual presidents lived there, even. Lara is talking up a trip to the Oval Office like it's Willy Wonka's chocolate factory: "The president handed out golden tickets! And the Democrats just ripped them up. Who does that?" (Not a real quote, but truthy!)

Bold TV Founder Carrie Sheffield asked Lara what she'd say to furloughed employees who are "coming to work" during Trump's shutdown and "not getting paid." Now dig how ignorant this lady is.


MRS. MORON-IN-LAW: It's not fair to you, and we all get that, but this is so much bigger than any one person. It is a little bit of pain, but it's going to be for the future of our country and their children and their grandchildren and generations after them will thank them for their sacrifice right now.

Lara totally gets that the shutdown is not "fair" to furloughed workers. That's why she's talking to them like she's Squealer from Animal Farm: "You are tired but happy! You've had a hard year, but WALL will compensate for everything. Why, it is almost half built now, and if you suffer through the harsh coming winter, we could add another foot to WALL!"

Lara has gall of steel to thank federal employees for their service as if they're soldiers drafted into a war. She's likely never had to sacrifice anything greater than skipping leg day once. Republicans practically called Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez "Comrade Commie" when she proposed a 70 percent marginal tax rate for the very wealthy so that poor Americans don't get ringworm. Yet the same people who foam at the mouth whenever AOC opens hers will barely utter a peep over Lara Trump suggesting federal employees "work harder" for the glorious father-in-law. If a few hundred thousand keel over and are sent to the glue factor before WALL goes up, their kids in foster care will certainly appreciate their service.

Folks are already calling this a "let them eat cake" moment. Marie-Antoinette never actually said anything so callous, and even if she did, she'd have to hold Lara Trump's beer after this bullshit. Shifting from high to low literary references, it's also worth pointing out how much Lara sounds like the sociopathic mother from Flowers in the Attic: "Just have patience. Be understanding! And what fun you lose now -- your house, custody of your kids, I'll make up to you later, a thousandfold!"

Lara later admitted during the Bold TV interview that the president won't just reopen the government and negotiate without hostages because he'd have no "hand" to play. He'd also have no "card." He would lack metaphors is what she's saying. Lara insists that if we don't act "now," our broken immigration system will "never get fixed." Is WALL only available on QVC? Calm down, lady.

Quick question: Does Lara Trump strike you as the type of person who is capable of a spontaneous thought, even if it's a terrible one? No, right? So, that means the repulsive words that came out of her mouth were focus-group tested within what passes for a brain trust inside the White House before she memorized them off flash cards. Seriously, these people are sick.

Lara Trump recently became senior consultant on the president's re-election campaign, so maybe if there's justice she'll have to get Senator Kamala Harris on the phone for her father-in-law when he has to concede next year. Now that, we believe, is a "little bit of pain" generations will gladly thank her for later.

[Newsweek]

Follow Stephen Robinson on Twitter.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please send us money to keep the writers paid and the servers humming. Seriously. We mean it.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Seattle. However, he's more reliable for food and drink recommendations in Portland, where he spends a lot of time for theatre work. His co-adaptation of "Jitterbug Perfume" by Tom Robbins is playing NOW at Pioneer Square's Cafe Nordo. All Wonketters welcome.

$
Donate with CC

In this increasingly polarized society we live in, it's hard to find any kind of consensus on anything -- but one would think that there would still be a few things here and there that we could all agree upon. One also might assume that one of those things would be "drinking bleach is a bad idea."

But if one were to do that, they would be wrong. Because the Genesis II Church is holding a seminar today in Washington State in order to promote the use of a substance they call "Miracle Mineral Solution," which they consider a miracle cure for every disease on earth, and which the FDA and anyone who can read ingredients would consider "industrial bleach."

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

This past November, far right dingbat Laura Loomer was finally kicked off of Twitter after tweeting a bunch of crazy ass hateful shit about Minnesota Congresswoman Ilhan Omar. To put it mildly, she was not happy about it. In fact, she kind of lost her fucking mind (what was left of it anyway) and ended up handcuffing herself to Twitter headquarters in order to protest the ban. She's been yelling about it ever since -- though since she's not on Twitter, few have even noticed.

Filled with desperation and with nowhere else left to turn, she is bringing her case to court and suing Twitter in hopes that a judge and jury will force the social media company to give her back her account so that she can continue to use it to scream horrible things about Muslim people all day long. This is what she is currently doing on Instagram, where she just recently went on a charming rant all about how much she hates Reps. Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar (yes, again), stating that Islam is a "cancer" and that "Muslims should not be allowed to seek positions of political office in this country. It should be illegal."

With statements like that, it is hard to believe that Twitter, or anyone, for that matter, would not be thrilled to have a normal human person like Laura Loomer on their site.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc