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Earlier today, the inimitable Five Dollar Feminist splained at you about Jerome Corsi, and his world full of hurt. But Trump's pal "Jerry" isn't taking his legal troubles lying down! No, he has hired the world's greatest superlawyer, Larry Klayman, to sue the shit out of Bobby Mueller, for reasons. Check it!

Oh baby, right there. RIGHT THERE. AoooooooooOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!


We couldn't possibly go over every Wonkette story in which Larry Klayman has superlawyered; there is neither enough time nor enough pixels. We can't tell you about all the times he wrote erotic fiction about Barack Obama literally "enslaving" the whites, by employing them in the West Wing. But we will give you a rough overview -- a highlight reel -- of Klayman's superlawyering, because fucker sued ALL THE BLACKS.

Superlawyer Larry Klayman Super-Suing People, A Primer!

Fucker sued all the blacks. To our knowledge, he has not prevailed in his lawsuit against all the blacks.

Fucker sued (and lost) Minneapolis CityPages for reporting accurately on his custody suit, in which he was a weirdo.

Fucker sued the judge in his custody suit, in which he was a weirdo.

That was the same judge he called a Jew. Because of how he lost.

But not the same judge he said was "a woman scorned." Also because of how he lost.

Or this one either. Totally different on-the-rag bitchface. Did not prevail. Totally lost.

Fucker "convened" a "grand jury" that "indicted" "Obama." To our knowledge, Obama is not in jail.

Fucker sued Hillary Clinton for murdering Benghazi. Ditto.

Fucker sued the New York Times for ... something about Joe Arpaio? Lost.

Fucker sued Sacha Baron Cohen for "making" Roy Moore look stupid. Pretty sure he lost.

Fucker sued/was sued by his own organization, Judicial Watch. Also lost.

Despite threatening to, and calling us "venomous" gaymos, fucker never, ever, ever sued Your Wonkette :(

Very excellent lawyer pick, Jerome Corsi! Have fun suing the castle! And YOU have fun in this, your OPEN THREAD!

Give Wonkette money for #BeBest. We love you bye bye.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Y'all saw that crazy shit that happened at the White House today when Chuck 'n' Nancy went to visit Trump to talk about averting a government shutdown, and Chuck 'n' Nancy ended up playing foosball with Trump's face while he screamed "WALL!" over and over again? It was so great.

During the meeting, Trump interrupted Pelosi a whole lot, and she responded by not giving a fuck and making fun of him to his face about how all she does is win, while Trump was left to whine about how nobody ever talks about how "he" won the Senate for the GOP. (The Senate election schedule, which heavily favored Republicans in the 2018 midterms, won the Senate for the GOP.)

When Pelosi walked out of the White House, she looked like some kinda badass spy walking away at the perfect moment, right before the building explodes. (We are not saying Nancy Pelosi blowed up the White House! OK fine, she did it WITH VOTES.)

But Pelosi's day of dick-punching Trump right in his orange face was not over!

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James Alex Fields mugshot

This morning, after spending Monday hearing victim impact statements, the jury in James Alex Fields's trial -- which on Friday found him guilty on all 10 counts he was charged with -- delivered their sentencing recommendations.

For the murder of Heather Heyer, the Charlottesville jury gave Fields a life sentence and a fine of $100,000. For each of the three charges of aggravated malicious wounding, they sentenced him to 70 years and fines of $70,000. For each of the five charges of malicious wounding, 20 years in prison and fines of $10,000, and nine years for the hit and run. All in all, this comes out to a life sentence plus 419 years and $480,000. Judge Richard Moore accepted the jury's verdicts, but will hold off on officially sentencing Fields until March 19.

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