Donate

Larry Klayman Was Very Excellent At Being Larry Klayman In 2013: A Retrospective

News

Did you know that when Yr Wonket counts its blessings, we count Larry Klayman first and always? You probably did not know this, but it is god's own truth, because if there were no Larry Klayman, there would be so much less Wonket. For real, we wrote about Larry Klayman like a dozen times this year, and that only includes the times that Larry Klayman was the subject of the post rather than a bit of derp in passing. He's a one-man litigation tornado whirlwind hurricane force of nature, and he has the great good fortune to behave remarkably stupidly even when he is not lawyering. Let's take a fond look back at the year in Larry, shall we?


Though we keep Larry near and dear to our heart, we feel he does not fully return our love because he sues other people but not us. Lawsuits = love, Larry! Throw us a bone here! You've called us venomous, but we need more! He sued City Pages, but lost, but has now maybe sued them again, so we might still have a shot at some hot hot litigation action.

He teased us with his One Million Man March To Mess With Obama or whatever he called it, but when the time came he only delivered a ragamuffin handful of unhappy conspiracy minded souls, and we were disappoint.

His group of imaginary friends citizens grand jury indicted Bamz, Old Handsome Joe, Eric Holder, the IRS, John Roberts, Elena Kagan, and we have probably missed some people because that grand jury was probably the ham-sandwich-indicting kind since they only exist in the fevered mind of Larry Klayman.

All of Larry's sins were pretty much washed away at year's end, though, when he pulled off a stunning upset in his NSA case because blind squirrel, nut. The judge basically said that Klayman's claims were completely barmy, but he still won because the NSA was being so ridiculously evil in hoovering up everyone's metadata that even though Larry is probably sure the Illuminati is checking out his Amazon purchases and that is not even a real thing, the NSA actually IS hoovering up everyone's metadata so they've probably gobbled up some of Larry's along the way. Larry snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, though, by immediately going on CNN, calling Don Lemon a hard left-winger and threatening to sue Jeffrey Toobin for libel because Toobin read portions of the available-everywhere-and-public-by-definition lawsuit. So nice to see Larry return to form.

Here's wishing Larry a happy and prosperous and litigious 2014. Sue in good health, Larry.

$
Donate with CC

Some of our favorite people to follow on Twitter are the wonderful folks who watch Fox News every night and tweet screenshots and videos, so that we never ever EVER have to watch it. (They all work for Media Matters, so presumably they are being forced to do this by David Brock.)

We had a feeling after Pete Buttigieg did that Fox News town hall, and after we watched the MENSA trust at "Fox & Friends" just lose it all morning about Buttigieg's open criticism of Fox News on Fox News, that the evening hosts would really deliver on Monday night, and boy was our feeling correct.

Let's go to the tape, provided by Media Matters deputy director of rapid response Andrew Lawrence.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Wikimedia Commons

Today it was announced that Dress Barn would be closing all 650 of its stores and its business in general. This has been happening a lot lately, as people have begun to do most of their shopping online rather than in stores. Shopko, a department store chain, recently announced it would be closing all of its stores as well.

Then there's the mall store Charlotte Russe, which closed all of its stores in March. I actually worked there in high school, and at Contempo Casuals, which later became Wet Seal, and which closed all of its stores last January (though it's still online). Many other "mall stores" are also either closing entirely or closing a huge chunk of their stores.

Dress Barn was a terrible and oddly insulting-sounding name for a store. The fact that it survived for as long as it did with marketing that bad actually speaks very well for the store itself. If it were not doing an incredibly good job providing many women with what they wanted, clothing-wise, I do not think they would have survived this long. While I can't speak to that personally, since the last time I lived in an area that had one I was 14 years old (though I did get a very nice purple crushed velvet baby-doll dress there for my grandparent's anniversary when I was in 8th grade), a lot of people today are talking about how much they appreciated that they could get nice work clothes there for a reasonable price -- and also in a wide range of sizes. That's awesome. There should be more of that, not less.

But the real problem isn't just people losing a store they like. It's the fact that all of the people working at those 650 stores no longer have jobs–about 6,800 people in total. (And 18,000 employees are losing their jobs at Shopko, which often served towns of 3,000 to 5,000 people, too small for any other store where you could buy, say, socks and a toaster.) And the way things are going, it's going to be pretty hard for them to find jobs in the same line of work. The vast majority of these people, also, are women.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc