A year ago, David Howe of Frederick, MD got a cold call from some dude telling him he's a descendant of the last king of the Isle of Man, a British protectorate island in the Irish Sea. David did what any red-blooded American would obviously do -- he crowned himself king of a place he's never been and proceeded to sell royal titles for money. He doesn't understand why the locals are so pissed off at some random American proclaiming himself their king, saying "I haven't hired a general, I haven't raised an army, and I have no plans to invade." David does plan, however, to "visit" in the Spring. [MSBNC]