Last Week's Shots: Report as Shockingly Offensive

lns.jpgThe forums at Late Night Shots have been fizzling out lately. They've started censoring themselves, and the posters are listless. Spelling still stumps them, however, and just last week someone declared that "Carmen Santiago" was the second best computer game. You don't know what you've got til' it's gone, huh? Intern Lauren learns about internet censorship, why ethnic names are bad names, and what charity is really for, after the jump.


Flagging

Posted By: RL on 11-16-2006 12:53 pm Report as shockingly offensive

In the rare instance that you see a post that gets a little too personal, please use the link. It just facilitates removing it faster.

Unemployment rate of LNS community exceeds Ward 8

Posted By: Matt Drudge on 11-18-2006 4:53 pm Report as shockingly offensive

Newsflash: Thanks to low GPAs, daddy's credit card and last week's elections, the unemployment rate of LNS members has exceeded Ward 8.

Developing...

RE: Unemployment rate of LNS community exceeds Ward 8

Posted By: PB on 11-18-2006 7:01 pm Report as shockingly offensive

the irony here is that people like 'us' usually did rather well in college and have successful careers despite being attractive and privileged. It's only ironic to you members of the lower orders who resent us and the level of comfort and class with which we choose to live our lives. Oh, and yes, by the way, the sex is much better when you are well born and attractive.

chairs,

P.B.

Question About Modest Mouse

Posted By: Pete Coors on 11-17-2006 1:32 pm Report as shockingly offensive

If you like them so much that you order a shirt should you be dragged out into the street and bludgeoned?

RE: Question About Modest Mouse

Posted By: yeah on 11-17-2006 1:33 pm Report as shockingly offensive

wearing band shirts is never acceptable

RE: Question About Modest Mouse

Posted By: 5000 miles underground on 11-17-2006 1:36 pm Report as shockingly offensive

yes... but only because their music was way better back in 1999 before isaac brock "allegedly" raped some girl. he was a complete rager back even then, but now he is so bad, he can barely even remember the lyrics to his songs.

RE: LNS Turbo Border Patrol

Posted By: Reform process on 11-15-2006 3:44 pm Report as shockingly offensive

So are we going for a 12 step approach with the turbos? If so where do we begin?

1. Hair washing to remove gel.

2. Throw out tight shirts and square toed loafers.

3. Begin speech lessions.

So on and so forth

RE: LNS Turbo Border Patrol

Posted By: John McCain on 11-15-2006 4:52 pm Report as shockingly offensive

4. Discontinue listening to ATB, DJ Siesto and switch over to classic rock

5. Quit working at TGIF fridays and land a job as a hill rat

6. Change your last name from simonelli to simmons

RE: LNS Turbo Border Patrol

Posted By: Ken Noisewater, MD on 11-15-2006 4:53 pm Report as shockingly offensive

7. Sell Camero IROC

8. Divest self of bronzer

9. Take off (non-wedding) rings

RE: LNS Turbo Border Patrol

Posted By: Chinese children on 11-15-2006 4:59 pm Report as shockingly offensive

11. Attend a charity to feed us. we're still hungggry!

RE: LNS Turbo Border Patrol

Posted By: King Turbo on 11-15-2006 5:15 pm Report as shockingly offensive

21. Get a vasectomy to stop the procreation and infiltration of such trash into mainstream society.

RE: LNS Turbo Border Patrol

Posted By: Onic Man on 11-15-2006 5:18 pm Report as shockingly offensive

22. Stop taking all of your social cues from Entourage.

23. Don't make your eyebrows look so... I don't know... fancy.

RE: LNS Turbo Border Patrol

Posted By: Sid Bream on 11-15-2006 5:19 pm Report as shockingly offensive

22. Kill yourself.

and that should just about take care of it...

The Finances of Social Climbing

Posted By: Accountant on 11-15-2006 1:15 pm Report as shockingly offensive

One of my friends is a member of the University club, the City Yavern club, the Chevy Chase Club, the Capital Club and the Young and the Guest list. And he makes approximately $40k per year. Are there scholarship funds for these groups that I am not aware of?

RE: The Finances of Social Climbing

Posted By: 4 letter on 11-15-2006 1:15 pm Report as shockingly offensive

D-A-D-D-Y

RE: The Finances of Social Climbing

Posted By: lagacy on 11-15-2006 1:16 pm Report as shockingly offensive

how much does daddy make?

RE: The Finances of Social Climbing

Posted By: man law on 11-15-2006 1:43 pm Report as shockingly offensive

Social climbers are the people who, instead of hitting on girls and spending the night on the SPDF, spend their evenings hitting on other dudes and trying to get on lists and get invites to parties. They're the same kids that tried to hard to get into a fraternity and didn't learn their lesson the first time. Lessons: Get out on the dance floor and score a couple good takedowns, this will get you noticed. Don't try so hard, pack a lip and relax. Hit up Saloun and aggressively make out with someone while Melvin sings "Casanova." Soon, you'll be ascending the ladder and you won't even know it cause you'll be having so much fun doing it. Parcheesi!

RE: The Finances of Social Climbing

Posted By: to climber on 11-15-2006 1:48 pm Report as shockingly offensive

you shouldn't have to try. it should just be natural. it's extremely easy to see through.

RE: The Finances of Social Climbing

Posted By: man law on 11-15-2006 1:49 pm Report as shockingly offensive

well said. These things are never forced...you either have it or you don't.

Question About Gifts From Women

Posted By: Senseless Victim on 11-16-2006 9:47 am Report as shockingly offensive

I don't mean to drag this topic on, but if someone gives you a non-permanent std is it possible to sue them back to the stone age?

RE: Question About Gifts From Women

Posted By: law school on 11-16-2006 1:04 pm Report as shockingly offensive

It would be difficult to prove and probably unpleasant- but knowingly giving someone an STD is a tort. There have been cases like this.

But seriously, what are your "damages" if it is a curable STD and you are a guy? Guys don't have real consequences for catching STDs unless it is (a) HIV/AIDS or (b) herpes. Anything else and its curable or you're just a carrier. You'd just lose a lot in attorneys' fees and would embarrass yourself.

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