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Latest Wingnut Meme: CIA Nominee Brennan Is Secret Muslim Infil-Traitor, Just Like In That 'Homeland' Teevee Show

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OK, Wingnutosphere -- just knock it off. We are no longer accepting new nominations for "Least Plausible Conspiracy Theory," so can you just give it a rest now, please? The latest contender is a claim making the rounds about how John Brennan, Barack Obama's nominee to head the CIA, secretly converted to Islam while he served in Saudi Arabia, and that he was recruited as an intelligence asset for foreign terrorists, to whom he passed government secrets! This information comes from a completely credible source on national security, a guy who was a guest on on a right-wing radio show last week. Is the guy, John Guandolo, credible? You bet! He's an actual FBI agent! Well, former FBI, because before he became a fixture in the anti-Muslim-paranoia industry, he resigned from the FBI before he could be fired for sexytime with a witness in a case he was working. If you can't trust a virile Patriot like that, who can you trust?


Guandolo claims that he received the information about Brennan's supposed conversion from "U.S. government officials who were also in Saudi Arabia at the time," who he says were "direct witnesses" to Brennan's conversion, which he also says was the "culmination" of an effort to recruit Brennan by intelligence agents from some sinister organization that Guandolo didn't bother naming. We bet it was SMERSH. Or maybe CHAOS? Nah, it was probably definitely COBRA.

So anyway, we are now totally worried that if Brennan is confirmed, America's program of using robots to blow Muslims to bits is going to be in the hands of an actual Muslim, because that would mean that, for the whole time he's been blowing up Muslims so far, he didn't really mean it.

Here is a video of John Guandolo running his mouth and being very believable:

(Thanks to Alert Wonker "NotThatDewey" for helping us stumble across this story)

[WND/ Salon / Illustration adapted from "lunarapologist"]

Check out Wonkette on Facebook and Twitter and even on Tumblr. And if you think you see Muslims everywhere, get your eyes checked and then follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter, also, too.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Poor People Are Mad As Hell, And They're Not Going to Take It Anymore.

The Poor People's Campaign marched on Washington, and we were there!

Culture Wars
by Dominic Gwinn

Yesterday the new Poor People's Campaign, led by Rev. William Barber and Rev. Dr. Liz Theoharis, concluded 40 days of protest and civil disobedience with a rally on the National Mall. Building off of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr's original Poor People's Campaign 50 years ago, the new campaign is aimed at uniting labor leaders with activists to build a coalition of all marginalized people

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The police have clearly failed to stop the scourge of black kids selling water to thirsty people, so your average law-abiding, permit-respecting white lady has no choice but to take matters into her own (did we mention they were white?) hands. You might call her a busybody gone power mad or a simple tool of racist micoaggression, but we just call her "Permit Patty."

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