Laura Ingraham, Baghdad Bob
Laura Ingraham was the only Fox News host to devote much (or really any) time to last night's election results, and boy was it a master class in bonkers. Now, she's flashed us some full frontal crazy before. She crowed last year that Andrew Gillum and Stacey Abrams losing their races in Florida and Georgia proved that Donald Trump won the midterms. But the Democrats actually "lost" those races. Democrat Andy Beshar straight-up won the Kentucky governor's race. That is not in any way good news for Republicans.
INGRAHAM: This is all very good news for Republicans.
Lady, are you serious? Trump won Kentucky in 2016 by 30 points. He held a rally Monday in Lexington where he begged his supporters not to "let a [Republican loss] happen" to him, because everything is about him. Now Matt Bevin ain't got no job. Ingraham's laughable spin is that it could've been worse if Trump hadn't "almost dragged" Bevin's bloated corpse across the finish line before, I guess, giving up when he realized "eww, this guy's already dead."
Yes, Bevin was a deeply flawed candidate. He was recently ranked the least popular governor in the US. Because Bevin never fully understood how politics works, he thought this was something worth bragging about. (It was the only contest he actually won this year.)
BEVIN: Have any of you ever seen a poll ever done — ever — in which I was more popular than unpopular? Any of you, ever? There has never been one. And I won 106 out of 120 counties (in 2015) while being the most unpopular candidate in the history of America, apparently. And so my point is this — it's irrelevant.
It turns out that when you're a politician it's not "irrelevant" if people hate you. Kentucky normally has no problem electing assholes -- just check out their senators. But apparently Bevin was such a lemon, the results could've been worse if Trump hadn't "come to town." Kentucky is apparently now a hotly contested swing state.
INGRAHAM: Trump comes into town, and Trump gets this thing tied up at 49-49. That's who brought the race this close. If Trump hadn't come into town, I can tell you what would have happened. This race would probably have been a ten-point race for the Democrats.
LOL! No, sorry, Beshear's father, Steve, was the governor of Kentucky from 2007 to 2015, but there's no evidence Andy Beshear could've coasted to victory in a state with a "plus 15" partisan "lean" in favor of Republicans. The Republican voter advantage is probably more responsible for the close race than Trump's hate rally. Why is Ingraham giving out participation trophies anyway? This isn't "Entitled Millennial Hippie Road Show." Bevin lost. Trump lost. Republicans lost. She sounds like the folks who insisted Beto O'Rourke could flip Texas in the 2020 presidential race because he almost beat Ted Cruz. We all saw how well that went. (We still like Beto, sorry to ding him at you.)
INGRAHAM: Trump comes in and he made this race as competitive as you could possibly make it. That is the power of Donald Trump! Anyone thinking anything differently tonight isn't being honest with the way the electoral map works, or what happened down-ballot.
She then listed the other Republicans who won in this deep-red state and gave a shout out to "an African-American" Republican who won the attorney general race. Fortunately, no serious Republicans are this delusional.
I think the Romneys are very happy Ronna McDaniel doesn't use their name anymore.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).