Laura Ingraham: Dems So Happy White Supremacist Wants To Kill Us All Because ... Jussie Smollett
Presumably soon-to-be-ex Coast Guard officer Christopher Paul Hasson, a self-identified white supremacist, was arrested recently for allegedly planning a domestic terror attack targeting top Democrats and TV journalists, as well as as many of the nonwhite residents of the US he could find. Federal agents found 15 guns and 1,000 rounds of ammunition in his basement apartment. However, Hasson's attorney argues that the number of firearms is "modest, at best" for gun collectors in our crazy country. This is both true and terrifying.
It's also part of a clear pattern of threats against Democrats, liberals, people of color, and the press. Yet, some garbage people think we are secretly pleased that another Travis Bickle lunatic was plotting to kill us because it diverts attention from (presumably soon to be former -- oh, wait, yup!) "Empire" star Jussie Smollett's faked hate crime attack.
Smollett is a piece of garbage whose hoax exploited and diminished the suffering of actual hate crime victims. He wasted valuable Chicago police resources that could've been used to shoot black people in the back. However, no actual lives were threatened or would've been directly harmed if his scam had worked. What type of fool-flavored moron would compare these stories or think that Smollett's was objectively more important than a deranged person plotting to kill, as a start, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and presidential candidates Kirsten Gillibrand, Elizabeth Warren, Cory Booker and Kamala Harris?
This one, apparently.
The dying embers of Erick Erickson's human soul were at least sufficient to cause him to later regret and retract his dumb comment. Unfortunately, Fox's Laura Ingraham does not suffer the embarrassment of a conscience. She had no trouble taking up the conspiracy baton from Erickson on last night's "The Ingraham Angle." She claimed Democrats push "victimhood narratives" because they have no policies -- other than the socialist takeover of the state
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez would implement if given half a chance. Lady, if we have to watch your sorry-ass show, you should at least remember what you've ranted about just last week.
RACIST HACK: It was Smollett who crashed in and took the focus off Virginia governor Ralph 'Blackface' Northam, and his lieutenant governor Justin Fairfax, who's accused by two women of sexual abuse. Boy, that Virginia story faded fast, didn't it? And now the Smollett anti-Trump drama has blown up, the media has jumped on the story of that whack-job Coast Guard lieutenant who wanted to murder Democrat politicians…This is so predictable, it's almost boring.
The Smollett story broke on January 29. Ralph Northam's blackface photo moonwalked into our lives on February 1. We only have a Gregorian calendar, but we think that's later. Also, are we supposed to believe that Ingraham cares that Northam wore blackface? Would she really protest if he showed up at a press conference in shoe polish and a "Beat It" jacket? Just Wednesday, she was defending the late John Wayne over uproar about his comments in a 1971 Playboy interview where he straight up supported white supremacy -- and not in that way that was "but that was normal for the time." She had some ragamuffin guest on to complain that liberals unfairly judge people by today's politically correct standards. Wayne claimed black people lacked the intelligence to govern themselves just three years after Martin Luther King's death. We think it's safe to call him a racist, but no, according to Ingraham, that's Taliban talk.
We don't have time to explain to Ingraham how news cycles work in the Trump era. We can only assure her it's not the three-dimensional commie chess match she assumes. Smollett's repulsive actions weren't a calculated "anti-Trump" attack. Smollett has no particular ideology. He wasn't trying to launch a political career or directly influence public policy. He staged the attack in a pathetic attempt to raise his profile and his bank balance. Now, this was truly "all about the Benjamins." It's a strange reversal from how conservatives normally respond to, say, accusations of sexual assault against a politician they like. Those are always financially motivated because there is apparently so much fame and fortune to be found as a public victim of assault. Smollett demonstrates how untrue that is, as his house of lies collapsed upon itself in about two Scaramuccis. This is probably because his fake story involved people
knowing who the fuck he was. We always found that part suspicious.
We're not asking you to feel sorry for Smollett but to just recognize that he didn't actually get anything out of this. His career is over. Giddy conservatives will forever invoke him as an example of how all hate crimes are probably as fake as climate change. He's also likely had the last decent haircut he'll ever receive, because black folks banned him from all our barber shops at this week's meeting. He's the most embarrassing black man alive right now. Clarence Thomas's 28-year streak has ended.
If anything, Smollett was conservative media's Secret Santa, delivering them a gift-wrapped excuse to flame their cultural resentments for the foreseeable future. He's their own shameless ham of the month club.
We will never apologize, though, for believing victims until proven otherwise. Once Smollett was exposed as a fraud, everyone promptly turned against him. We didn't instantly go on the attack and find any flimsy excuse to continue believing he was someone he obviously wasn't, like certain Supreme Court Justices.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).