Lauren Boebert Totally That Coworker Who Shows Up For Zoom Meeting With Gun Orgy Behind Her
GOP rep and sedition caucus member Lauren Boebert, who represents Colorado's third district, attended a virtual House committee hearing Thursday with at least three firearms prominently displayed in the background as perverse modern art. Two AR-15-style rifles were arranged like an X on a shelf behind her empty head. Another large firearm reclined seductively across books on another shelf, like a centerfold from Gun Nuts Weekly. There was also a handgun skulking around.
cc @ratemyskyperoom— Rep. Katie Porter (@Rep. Katie Porter)1613665224.0
Boebert stores her guns like a strawman conservative in a 1990s "Saturday Night Live" sketch. She also appears to have multiple copies of the same books, including one titled Dressed to Kill. Please pray to whatever gods you believe in that she's trolling us because otherwise, as one of my aunties might say, "That girl's not right."
Democratic Rep. Katie Porter, who's psychologically fit to serve in Congress, tweeted that "I always thought my dirty dishes piled up and accumulating bacteria were the most dangerous thing in a Zoom background." She also copied the Twitter account @ratemyskyperoom, which responded, "Unsafe gun storage is no laughing matter. Is this Fascist fraulein really the best Colorado's 3rd CD can do? 0/10."
Boebert boasted that this wasn't gun storage at all. Those bad buys are "ready for use!" You never know who might try to steal her collection of Dressed to Kill books. Colorado unfortunately has no laws requiring safe storage of firearms. Yes, what you're seeing is somehow legal and clearly intimidating. She's still a newbie but we guess she wants her fellow members of the Natural Resources Committee to know she's ready to kill at a moment's notice.
Boebert might believe this gruesome display is a benign expression of John Wayne, Yosemite Sam, rah-rah redblooded Americanism, but it's actually just sick. Moms Demand Action founder Shannon Watts pointed out that Osama bin Laden once appeared in a photo with just one large firearm hanging out in his bookshelves, which contained actual books.
The twice-impeached thug's firstborn also posed in front of guns during an incoherent rant this weekend. Is this supposed to make anyone feel safe?
This looks and sounds like an extremist video posted from a bunker of undisclosed location https://t.co/LNWmiUN96I— Aaron Rupar (@Aaron Rupar)1613889067.0
Boebert apparently hoped to communicate that perfectly sane and rational people like herself should be able to bring guns into the Capitol, even though many Democrats are legitimately afraid of getting shot in the head by their own unhinged colleagues. A professional legislator, instead of a goofy-ass Twitter troll, would try more persuasive tactics than provoking people still traumatized after the deadly Capitol siege.
Democratic Rep. Jared Huffman from California called out Boebert for her gross showboating.
"If somebody wants to have a shrine to their gun fetish as a Zoom backdrop in their private life, they can do that," Huffman said. "But this is our hearing room, and at some point we will get past the covid epidemic and we'll all start showing up in person.
"It's necessary that we lay down these ground rules that whatever your fetishes or feelings are about guns, you're not going to bring them into our committee room," he added.
But Boebert has read the Second Amendment and probably nothing else except for the first few chapters of Dressed to Kill, and she knows it's her RIGHT to scare people with her guns.
"It doesn't matter how you feel, how you classify it. This is an enumerated right . . . to bear arms," she said.
Supreme Court Justice and conservative folk hero Antonin Scalia wrote in the majority opinion for District of Columbia vs. Heller that Second Amendment rights aren't unlimited and don't permit kooks like Boebert to "keep and carry any weapon whatsoever in any manner whatsoever and for whatever purpose." The Court held that it was legal to ban guns in sensitive places, such as schools and government buildings. The Transportation Security Association doesn't allow passengers to carry guns onto planes. They must remain in checked luggage.
Boebert might long for a world where those restrictions don't exist, but that's a more violent and dumber world.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).