Lemons For Cellulite? Top Doctors Swear By This Morning Mix! Tabs, Wed., Jan. 5, 2021

Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador

Oh we The Jews! Will we never stop genociding people with COVID-19 vaccine?

"I believe the Jews are behind this. For 300 years the Jews have been trying to infiltrate the Catholic Church and place a Jew covertly at the top. It happened in 2013 with Pope Francis. I believe the pandemic and systematic extermination of billions of people will lead to an effort to consolidate all the countries in the world under a single flag with totalitarian rule. I know, it sounds bonkers. No one is reporting on it, but the Hasidic Jews in the US instituted a law for their people that they are not to be vaccinated for any reason," [Utah Republican donor tech guy] wrote in the email.

You're not gonna believe this, but some of his best friends are The Jews! — Fox 13 SLC Oh he resigned already? He resigned already.

On the other hand, here is some terrifying neurological bullshit and Canada being shady about it. (Guardian)

"Eugene Schmitz and other interesting speakers."

I looked him up to see if he was the father of Bircher OC Congressman (himself the father of Mary Kay LeTourneau) John Schmitz. He is not, but he was "interesting" for sure. Tell us more about Handsome Gene! (Wikipedia)

Looks like we're still negotiating with Joe Manchin for Building Back, Better? What jenga piece of Joe Biden's agenda can we live without? What can Manchin live with? Fuckifiknow! — Data For Progress

Oh that Manchin and his jokes, we call him Chortlin' Joe. (Talking Points Memo)

Aw, Apple made Jim Newell a 1/6 "memories" video! — Slate

Jan. 6 Memoriesyoutu.be

The music just goes awesome with it.

Journalists are doing hella better about focusing on the GOP flying its anti-democracy freak flag. Margaret Sullivan says they need to do better. (No paywall Washington Post)

Larry Klayman keeps defaming your Wonkette, but your Wonkette is enough of a First Amendment subject-matter expert, unlike some superlawyers we know, to know that as part of judicial proceedings, he is allowed to do that, or at least we can't sue him for $. Anyway, go to like Minute 16 if you want to see him being STILL REAL MAD about WONKETTE, COMMUNIST PORNERS.


  1. 1. We are real media. I have worked in journalism since 1991, have a master's degree in journalism from USC, and have taught journalism at UC Riverside and UC Irvine; I have been editor in chief of multiple news publications. We are not pornography, we are just gross!
  2. He did stalk that poor woman, per the Department of Justice's definition of stalking. I would argue that is also sexual harassment, although he added [sexual] to a quote where I didn't say it. It is absolute truth and it is an absolute defense.
  3. This — Judge Who Probably Has Vagina Teeth Defeats Poor Superlawyer Larry Klayman Again — was hilarious. Sure SEEMS LIKE Larry Klayman has a real problem with women, judges, and Jews.

Norman Mailer did not get canceled. — The New Republic

Thomas Jefferson's big ass dead moose. (NPR)

From the comments, I love this January Cure (for your house, not your liver). I have already done like five (three) of the things this week and I didn't even know it. Mama has been FROGGY with the "unfuck the bathroom" and "spend two hours moving things from one shelf to a different shelf" and (seriously? Seriously!) "untangle a pile of necklaces." WOW, ME! I love January! (Apartment Therapy)

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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