Why yes, we would love to dance with you, Mr. President.
What IS this, a dance party on a Thursday? Yes, it is, because your president Barry Bamz Ladies Man Obama has dropped his summer music playlist upon us! There is a daytime list, for when it is daytime and you are working at your job, or sexing, and then there is a nighttime playlist, for when you are definitely just sexing, and maybe also knitting.
The daytime list has rap-hop, Nina Simone, Beach Boys, and a song by Manu Chao that is about reefer drugs HAHA, MALIA, WE SEE YOU PUTTING SHIT ON YR DAD'S PLAYLIST! Here are the "day" songs:
LoveHate Thing - Wale
Smooth Sailin' - Leon Bridges
Elevator Operator - Courtney Barnett
Home - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
Many the Miles - Sara Bareilles
Tightrope - Janelle Monáe
Classic Man - Jidenna
So Ambitious - Jay Z feat. Pharrell
Me Gustas Tu - Manu Chao
Forever Begins - Common
The Man - Aloe Blacc
As We Enter - Nas & Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley
Sinnerman - Nina Simone
U Got the Look - Prince
Rock Steady - Aretha Franklin
Good Vibrations - Beach Boys
Don't Owe You A Thang - Gary Clark Jr.
Man Like That - Gin Wigmore
II B.S. (edit) - Charles Mingus
The nighttime list has romance things like Miles Davis, Corinne Bailey Rae, Billie Holiday, and also the Fiona Apple song "Criminal," because apparently the president likes to hear, "I've been a bad, bad girl" from Michelle OR MAYBE he likes the part about "What I need is a good defense, 'cause I'm feelin' like a criminal," which reminds him of Hillary.
Here are the nighttime sex songs:
If I Have My Way - Chrisette Michele
Espera - Esperanza Spalding
Tell It Like It Is - Aaron Neville
Alright - Ledisi
Trapped By A Thing Called Love - Denise LaSalle
Lady - D'Angelo
So Very Hard to Go - Tower of Power
Midnight Sun - Carmen McCrae
Cucurrucucú Paloma - Caetano Veloso
Green Aphrodisiac - Corinne Bailey Rae
I'll Be There for You / You're All I Need - Mary J. Blige / Method Man
Lover Man - Billie Holiday
Criminal - Fiona Apple
Acid Rain - Chance the Rapper
My Funny Valentine - Miles Davis
Do You Feel Me - Anthony Hamilton
I Get Lonely - Janet Jackson
Lean In - Lizz Wright
All Day Music - War
Say Yes - Floetry
Hooray, the president has good taste in music, and he uses it to make us all sexy, because he LIKES US THAT WAY.
[ The White House ]
Let Barry Bamz Obama Sex You Up All Day And All Night, With His Sexxxy Summer Playlist!
Yeah, somehow or another the Donald always needs someone to explain what he meant.
St. Bette of Midler's shrine at the Homintern HQ is a popular site for pilgrimages...