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Why yes, we would love to dance with you, Mr. President.


What IS this, a dance party on a Thursday? Yes, it is, because your president Barry Bamz Ladies Man Obama has dropped his summer music playlist upon us! There is a daytime list, for when it is daytime and you are working at your job, or sexing, and then there is a nighttime playlist, for when you are definitely just sexing, and maybe also knitting.

The daytime list has rap-hop, Nina Simone, Beach Boys, and a song by Manu Chao that is about reefer drugs HAHA, MALIA, WE SEE YOU PUTTING SHIT ON YR DAD'S PLAYLIST! Here are the "day" songs:

LoveHate Thing - Wale

Smooth Sailin' - Leon Bridges

Elevator Operator - Courtney Barnett

Home - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

Many the Miles - Sara Bareilles

Tightrope - Janelle Monáe

Classic Man - Jidenna

So Ambitious - Jay Z feat. Pharrell

Me Gustas Tu - Manu Chao

Forever Begins - Common

The Man - Aloe Blacc

As We Enter - Nas & Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley

Sinnerman - Nina Simone

U Got the Look - Prince

Rock Steady - Aretha Franklin

Good Vibrations - Beach Boys

Don't Owe You A Thang - Gary Clark Jr.

Man Like That - Gin Wigmore

II B.S. (edit) - Charles Mingus

The nighttime list has romance things like Miles Davis, Corinne Bailey Rae, Billie Holiday, and also the Fiona Apple song "Criminal," because apparently the president likes to hear, "I've been a bad, bad girl" from Michelle OR MAYBE he likes the part about "What I need is a good defense, 'cause I'm feelin' like a criminal," which reminds him of Hillary.

Here are the nighttime sex songs:

If I Have My Way - Chrisette Michele

Espera - Esperanza Spalding

Tell It Like It Is - Aaron Neville

Alright - Ledisi

Trapped By A Thing Called Love - Denise LaSalle

Lady - D'Angelo

So Very Hard to Go - Tower of Power

Midnight Sun - Carmen McCrae

Cucurrucucú Paloma - Caetano Veloso

Green Aphrodisiac - Corinne Bailey Rae

I'll Be There for You / You're All I Need - Mary J. Blige / Method Man

Lover Man - Billie Holiday

Criminal - Fiona Apple

Acid Rain - Chance the Rapper

My Funny Valentine - Miles Davis

Do You Feel Me - Anthony Hamilton

I Get Lonely - Janet Jackson

Lean In - Lizz Wright

All Day Music - War

Say Yes - Floetry

Hooray, the president has good taste in music, and he uses it to make us all sexy, because he LIKES US THAT WAY.

[The White House]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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