Let Us Frolic In This Bath Of Right-Wing Tears, Alabama Senate Election Edition
As you might imagine, there has been quite the variety of hot takes coming from conservatives today, following Democrat Doug Jones's defeat of Roy Moore in Alabama. Some of are blaming Mitch McConnell for not standing by their man. Some are claiming victory from the jaws of defeat, knowing that Roy Moore would have been a real bad look for them anyway. Some are even claiming that the whole thing WAS RIGGED and that Roy Moore did actually win, but that the Establishment Republicans and the Democrats banded together to secure a win for Jones. And, of course, some are blaming women.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, one of those blaming women (and simultaneously claiming it was all RIGGED) is Andrew Anglin of The Daily Stormer, who had been VERY excited for Moore to win this race. In a post titled "White Women Dropped The Ball In Alabama," Anglin whines:
White women were responsible for the Alabama election, voting for the Democrat at a rate of 9 points higher than men.
Just as they have been responsible for every nationalist defeat in the last 5 years.
Roy Moore was right when he said “repeal every amendment past the 10th.”
Letting these stupid whores vote was an absolutely insane decision, and something that our society may only recover from when there is no option but for women to once again become what nature designed them to be: the property of men.
WAAAHHHHHHH! WOMEN CAN VOTE AND I DON'T EVEN GET TO OWN ONE! HOW IS THAT EVEN FAIR?
Anglin, however, is also claiming that the election was RIGGED, citing a TechCrunch article from yesterday about how the Alabama Supreme Court (which, surely, is filled with liberal activist judges) blocked a Montgomery County order to preserve digital voting records.
However, if there were a recount, the paper ballots (not the digitized versions of them) would be what would be counted, and those are kept for 22 months after the election. So not a very good argument there!
Over on /pol/ there were a lot of tears.
Weird! That reply seems an awful lot like what they were trying to do with Pizzagate, except we didn't imagineer Moore's pedophile scandal ourselves.
And a lot of woman blaming!
They figured out that white women are the key swing voters since Trump. Thats why we have had nothing but feminist bullshit, sexual assault allegations, the fucking dictionary makes "Feminism" the word of the year, Time makes the accusers the people of the year. This is their new strategy. Notice the massive amount of anti-woman hate on here recently? Its only there to turn away anyone new who would come. D&C. We have to get ahead of this shit. Dont fight women we have to make them our allies or we lose before it starts. We need a way to either bring the women to our side or to neutralize their vote on the left. Need more sexual allegations for the left. Need to show the left being anti woman, anti family.
Good luck with that!
The alt-right Twitter account McFeels blamed the loss on white voters having not "felt enough pain" yet.
Whatever that means.
Weird Mike Cernovich had been very, very confident that Moore was going to win.
But, naturally, he is now claiming he didn't care about the election AT ALL and you are dumb for thinking he did! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLFOOLEDYOU!
Oh yes, we are all addicted to the intoxicating drug that is Weird Mike Cernovich. Either that or we are genuinely amazed that someone goes around being that terrible all the time.
"Coach" Dave Daubenmire blamed his fellow evangelicals, who -- UGH -- voted for a guy who definitely wants to stab all the newborns right in the head as they exit the vagina, just because the guy running against him maybe molested a 14-year-old 40 whole years ago. Unfair!
Roy Moore's brother, Jerry Moore -- who believes that the Democratic Party paid all of his brother's accusers to come forward -- says that Doug Moore and all the Democrats and all the Republicans who thwarted his brother's bid for senate will answer for it IN HELL.
OOH DOUG JONES YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE MISTER! WITH GOD!
Over on The_Donald subreddit, the going theory is that from now on, because this "worked," the Democratic Party is just going to falsely accuse every Republican ever of sexual assault.
Richard Spencer seemed... confused.
The National Review, largely, seems to be taking the tack that the GOP "dodged a bullet" with Moore, because of how horrible he was. Which, you know, they're not wrong.
Despite the frustration of a 52-seat majority becoming a 51-seat majority, tonight’s result is in fact, a long-term victory for the Republican Party. Had Moore gone to the Senate, he would have faced a Senate Ethics Committee investigation. Had that investigation brought back anything less than a full exoneration, GOP senators would have faced the decision of whether to expel him. As is, Moore could be counted on to create new controversies every time he faced the cameras; every Republican would constantly be asked if they agreed with their fellow senator’s controversial contentions about “reds and yellows,” unnecessary Constitutional Amendments, the wisdom of Vladimir Putin, or whether America was the focus of evil in the modern world.
Breitbart, which backed Moore from the beginning, is blaming the "establishment" Republicans:
The Federalist is taking the same tack, largely blaming Mitch McConnell. The "wisdom" here is that the Establishment Republicans (wrongly) backed Luther Strange instead of the more "populist" but still somewhat "electable" Mo Brooks, and even convinced Trump to do so, assuming he'd win easily over Moore, which turned out not to be the case. Mo Brooks, they contend, would have won easily against Doug Jones.
And now, finally, TRUMP'S TAKE. Which is, of course, that he was right all along about Moore not being electable, and also that we have always been at war with East Asia.
Sure. Why not?
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse