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Let's All Go Donate To Dick And Liz Cheney's Cool New Non-Profit And Have War Forever

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It was only yesterday that we had to endure Dick and Liz Cheney's Op-Ed at the Wall Street Journal. It was a quaint little trip down memory lane, reminiscing about how when Cheney was the puppetmaster of one George W. Bush, everything was the coolest because we had war all the time. The Cheneys aren't going to rest on their laurels and just sit around calling for perpetual war. No, they're putting other people's money where their mouths are by starting the Alliance for a Stronger America, a non-profit entity which appears only to exist to smack talk about Obama.


We know that American security, peace, and freedom depend upon reversing the dangerous policies of the Obama Administration.

Oh, and also the Alliance exists so that WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR.

We also know that America's armed forces are the greatest fighting force and the greatest force for good the world has ever known. The Alliance for a Strong America will advocate for the policies necessary to protect the nation, and ensure that these issues are part of our national discussion in the coming years and beyond.

Do you think that Dick Cheney was just missing being a fucking death's-head ghoul that sends near-children to their maiming and death, or is he just getting a bonus from Halliburton if he drives more war business their way? WHY CHOOSE?

The bouncing bloodthirsty baby of a website has a biographical section on Dick, which you can tell he thought was quite a fine piece of work, a thing that really captured the manly and masterful essence of Dick Cheney, but instead it is just ridiculous. Here's our very favorite part:

Cheney has been recognized by many as the most powerful and consequential vice president in American history, and worked side by side with George W. Bush to keep our homeland safe and protect Americans from terrorist attacks for seven and a half years following 9/11.

Well, Dick, you were definitely consequential, but lets remember that there's nothing inherently favorable about that word. The consequential-ness you brought to the world was a fucked-up purposeless war, but hey, if that's all you've got, go for it. Also too let us LOL forever at the kept America safe after 9/11 part. Yes, if we overlook the fact that you were the one in charge when we had the biggest attack on American soil ever AND we overlook the whole pointless war thing, then you're golden, Dick!

Dick and Liz would like you to know that if you donate to their war machine, you can totally do it in secret, which seems weird since you should really want your awesome patriotism just hanging out there for all to see.

Any person or entity that contributes more than $5,000 to a 501(c)(4) organization must be disclosed to the Internal Revenue Service on Form 990. However, the IRS does not make these donor disclosures available to the general public. The Alliance for a Strong America's policy is to not provide the names of its donors to the general public.

Also too there is no limit to the amount of monies you can give Dick Cheney so he can have another really sweet-ass war. For convenience, though, consider soaking the bills in blood so he doesn't have to later. It's only polite.

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