Let's Check In With The Dumbest Dipshits In The Whole Wide Russia Scandal!

These guys make Don Jr. and Jared look SMART!

It's time again for another episode of The Moron Squad, our semi-regular check in with the bit players in the Russia Show -- the ones that make Donny Jr. and Jared look like criminal masterminds by comparison. That's right, we're talking about Julian "I'm No Rapist" Assange, Congressman Dana Rohrabacher (R-Moscow), WORLD FAMOUS AWARD-WINNING JOURNALIST Chuck C. Johnson, and Roger Stone.

When last we left the dipshits, Chuckles and Rohrabacher had taken a road trip to visit Assange in his rat cage at the Ecuadorian embassy in London. They sat around drawing I LUV PUTIN hearts on their Trapper Keepers for a while, debating whether the Putin on a Horse photo or Putin with a Tiger photo is sexier. Then Assange gave Rohrabacher proof Donald Trump won the election fair and square with his massive man hands. Well, it was actually a sheet of blank paper Assange wrote a secret message on using his own spit. But Rohrabacher has big plans to visit Trump and hold it over a lightbulb to prove that Hillary was the real Russia collusion-doer. Then Trump can pardon Assange, freeing his pasty ass to shit-tweet about Hillary Clinton for all eternity.

Liddle' Chucky

You may know Chuck C. Johnson as a Holocaust-denying traitor wanker and internet troll. He tells anyone who'll listen that he's an AWARD WINNING JOURNALIST! But no one listens, so he spends most of his time trying to insert himself into other people's stories while frantically shouting, "Someone look at me! I AM TOO important! Stop calling me a loser!" But when he donates Bitcoins to his buddy Dana Rohrabacher, Little Johnson refers to himself as an "investor." Via The Daily Beast:

[A]fter Johnson set up a meeting between the California Republican and WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange. Johnson donated $5,400 in Bitcoin to Rohrabacher’s campaign, according to a new filing with the Federal Election Commission, which listed Johnson’s occupation as “investor.” He confirmed the donations in a text message with The Daily Beast, adding, “I’m rich now.”

Yes, I'M RICH NOW is definitely a thing that IRL rich people say. And in case you were wondering, yep, he's still a dick:

Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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