Seriously, Dad, stop saying you're 'verklempt.'

[contextly_sidebar id="S8QaOTsqkG8lQb7LtPW8nrFVutXxnLYv"]While we could never hope to equal the visual and narrative grandeur of Evan's brilliant Barack Obama/Justin Trudeau slashfic (are you one of the four people on the internet who hasn't read it yet? What's wrong with you? Go read it!), we also want to point out, as middle-agedly as humanly possible, that at the big State Dinner Thursday for our sexxy guests from up north in Ted Cruz's homeland, young Sasha and Malia Obama have turned out to be quite the lovely young ladies.

And to think, it seems like only yesterday they were bored teenagers making bored teenager faces while having to stand around with their dumb dad, who kept saying things with words and embarrassing them:

And let's not even mention their open disdain for the solemn Thanksgiving turkey-pardoning ritual:

Also, the endearing goofiness of First Daughters making duckfaces (yes, girls, these pics will be seen by your eventual college boyfriends. You are allowed to resent your dad's job for that):

But suddenly, here they are, all grown up and behaving like perfect little ladies at an actual state dinner! And so beautiful, no? (We understand they're wearing Naeem Khan, whatever that means.)

'Don't trip don't trip don't trip don't trip...'

Looks like the Onion was all wrong about Malia growing to be seven feet tall. OR WERE THEY?

Here are the girls doing some serious Social Graces at the Prime Minister and his mom:

'So you see, as Jonathan Chait so rightly observed, Trump threatens not only the GOP's agenda but the self-conception of its intellectual class. But enough of mere politics...'

And our favorite shot of the bunch, Sasha Obama geeking out when she meets guest Ryan Reynolds (the star of that new comic book movie the kids are so nuts about) while Malia shoots a double thumbs-up to her sister:

'Omigosh omigosh omigosh omigosh...'

*Sniff!* Our little Sasha and Malia, all grown up. Where has the time gone?

[WaPo / Cosmopolitan / State dinner images from the White House]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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In 2014, Pastor Jamie Coots of the Full Gospel Tabernacle in Jesus' Name church in Middlesborough, Kentucky died from a rattlesnake bite. Was it a camping accident? Did something go terribly wrong at the zoo? No, he was handling those snakes on purpose, in order to demonstrate how super holy he was. Not holy enough, it seems,

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Once upon a time, Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers at least claimed to focus their efforts entirely on immigrants involved in criminal activity. Those days are long gone, and now they're going after anyone, including law-abiding people who are just trying to drive their pregnant wives to the hospital to give birth.

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