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Let's Laugh At All The Impoverished Billionaires!

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  • We can infer from his attorney's remarks and the absence of a conspiracy admission that Bernie Madoff did the noble thing and refused to squeal on his employees. This is what may land him in jail for 150 years. [Bloomberg]
  • Michelle Obama will visit military families in Fort Bragg today and show them her arms. [AP]
  • The Iraqi shoe-throwing journalist hero who spawned a thousand goofy online games has been sentenced to three years in prison for assault. [CNN]
  • Ha ha, look at the richest people in the world and how disastrously poor they all are now. [Forbes]
  • Planes just cannot get off the ground these days, and if they do they cannot stay in the air, because of maintenance issues. [Wall Street Journal]
  • The United States is currently locked in a death-match with its global peers over whether it is a good idea or not to try to bail out other ailing economies around the world. [Washington Post]
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Cripes the News has been awful lately! And so Yr Editrix suggested we find some good, positive news. Especially after we pitched writing a Wonket about this Mother Jones story on how global warming may be killing the whales, even though Donald Trump knows their prince. (Reply: "Nope. FOR SURE NOT THAT.") And so, as a reminder that a gooder world is possible and apropos of nothing at all that definitely didn't set your Editrix off on Twitter, where she has been stewing and bitching most shrillfully about the 2016 election and the 2020 election and any terrible similarities thereof and thereupon and therefore and thereto, we present a collection of videos of Elizabeth Warren yelling at big banks and calling for them to be broken up and their criminal operators to go to jail. Puppies and kittens will only get you so far, after all.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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