Let's Watch Barack And Michelle Obama Make Goo Goo Sexes At Each Other In Public
Mr. President
[contextly_sidebar id="G9BmiDpbqbK6eGtBTUvD0BrYSQBeXSWY"]The birds are chirping and the salmons are sexing (somewhere probably) and love is in the air! That's because Sunday is Valentine's Day, and OK yeah we get it, the holiday is total BS, a thing foisted on those who happen to be in love (or obligated to pretend they still are) by marketers and blah blah yadda yadda. But that doesn't mean our beloved President Barack "Barry White" Obama and his beautiful wife First Lady Michelle Obama can't get their Red Lobster to go, if you catch the subtle sexual intercourse joke we are making about the Obamas doing sex at each other!
President Obama appeared on the Ellen show, probably to say some liberal commie thing about global warming or NobummerCare, but he got a sexxxy surprise, when Michelle appeared in a recorded message to tell him how much she loves him and what a good president he is, and also while he's in L.A., please pick up those chocolates she likes:
</center>[contextly_sidebar id="hcl0WI1s9TTNfgLO3QRdh2DolbQ4m8fr"]Last time we wrote about the Obamas on the <a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/here-are-barack-and-michelle-obama-on-television-so-probably-someone-is-mad-about-that" target="_blank">Ellen program,</a> it was because Michelle was doing her #GimmeFive campaign, where you give her five ways you can lead a healthy life. This time, obviously, she has five DIFFERENT things on her mind, and they are all parts of Barack's sex body. (Which five? We don't know, but we bet they're HAWT.) <p>So, to help the president get his groove back this Valentine's Day, Ellen turned on some R&B and let Barry deliver his OWN message to his wife: </p><p/><blockquote>Somebody call the Situation Room, because things are about to get HOT.</blockquote> <p>OH MY GOD WE ARE SO JEALOUS OF MICHELLE OBAMA RIGHT NOW. Also too, he made this face: </p><p><img id="1cef6" data-rm-shortcode-id="99db42e7fc6f63997ae38a2d2482ebc0" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" class="rm-shortcode " loading="lazy" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNzY3NjE2OC9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTcwNDA0NzA0OX0.Ya50JlRhbDviuJjO_VWWkC8cgNqeOZDtjB1gW1UGhIU/img.png?width=980" /> STARBURSTS </p><p>He said more seductive things about "Michelle, this Valentine's Day I'm going to treat you right" and made some silly jokes Ellen made him read, and then: </p><p/><blockquote>I OBAMA-CARE ABOUT YOU MORE THAN YOU EVEN KNOW!</blockquote> <p>Oh no, Michelle, he's going to raise your premiums, IN YOUR PANTS! </p><p>Obama also told Ellen a bunch of sweet things about how sad he's going to be when Malia goes to college next year because "she's one of my best friends," and he refuses to speak at her high school graduation because he knows he's just going to be sobbing like a big old Crybaby McGee during the ceremony. This video is also super-sweet, so remember to come back and watch it when you're done fapping to the first video in your bunk. </p><p/><center><iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="324" src="//widgets.ellentube.com/videos/0_sryrh47a/" width="575"/></center>Happy Valentine's Day from yr Wonkette and from your lovely First Couple, right on your face, the way you like it. <p>[<a href="http://www.harpersbazaar.com/celebrity/latest/a14170/barack-obama-ellen-degeneres-interview/?utm_campaign=trueAnthem:+New+Content+(Feed)&utm_content=56be0ba9a498e10005b4440f&utm_medium=trueAnthem&utm_source=twitter" target="_blank">Harpers Bazaar</a>]</p>