Let's Watch Hillary Clinton Make A Big Announcement! Bet She's Going To Jail! (Updated)
UPDATE: Awful reality has a very rude habit of interfering with schedules, especially festive Veep announcements. Because of the tragic attack in Munich, Germany, it would appear the announcement is being delayed, or perhaps Hillz is simply running late to the Tampa event. we're getting mixed signals in Wonk Central about whether the announcement is still happening at this Tampa event. Tweet from Hillary (marked with "H" so you know it's her, not an intern), says she's engaged just now:
Very little is certain about the Munich attack yet, except that it's horrifying. Which won't stop Donald Trump from saying something awful, we're sure.
Original story, written pre-Munich news:
Haha, do not be silly! Killary Clinton never faces Justice for her many crimes, even though she is the greatest crimer ever to hold the position of First Lady, when she regularly held Murder Teas for her enemies. Usually in the China Room, although when an especially large number of people needed to be dispatched at once, the East Room. Instead, she is going to announce her Vice Presidential choice, who will either be Saul Alinsky, Tim Kaine, Elizabeth Warren, Sherrod Brown, or Ivanka Trump, just to throw people off. Except she won't be weirdly caressing nobody's hips at this thing, because Huma would object.
All of the speculation and received wisdom from the interwebs says it will be Virginia Sen. Tim Kaine, who seems nice enough, though a tad less showy than, say, your Elizabeth Warren. We have a feeling that Hillary Clinton is choosing someone who might help a little in a swing state, but mostly someone who will be good at vice-presidenting. But who knows!? That's why we are all tuning in to watch this important announcement. Now stop fussing, she is not choosing Bernie Sanders.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.