Letter From Wonkette: She Is Not Charlotte Simmons

Wonkette herself—who, the attentive of you will remember, is on a leave of absence to write her book this month—checks in from her liquor-laden bunker:

Dear Choire:

Greetings from my undisclosed location. Cheney says "hi" (and wants his copy of "Ass Master" back!). Thought I'd write in about this Drudge-sized brouhaha regarding "I Am Charlotte Simmons" being on the White House reading list. First of all, when I see "beer- and sex-soaked" and "Bush" in the same sentence, I want it to be from an article in the new Barely Legal, not about our president's reading habits. Second, Bumiller is totally high. As usual.

Bumiller, ever-desperate to sound like she's knows something we don't (omg, did you see that Sunday Styles piece?!?), implies that the WH has been cagey about Bush's reading of the Wolfe book. As they say in the WH press corps: Riiiiiiight. Around town, White House aides have all but taken out billboards about this show of intellectual adventurousness, and it's about as believable as the time they said he was reading "Crime and Punishment." Of course, the occasion for that little toe-dip into nihilism was Bush's trip to Russia. As for why they would say he's reading "Charlotte Simmons," well. . . he has been wanting to understand the twins a little better. . .

For my part, I'm really getting into this "novel" thing. Turns out I can make shit up for the entire book and no one can sue or anything!




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