Levi Johnston Will Maybe Marry That Bristol Gal, Later


Only six months ago, Levi Johnston was just another dumb kid in the Alaskan outback of tattoo parlors and Taco Bells, banging a cute high school girl whose mom was something or other down in Juneau -- president, maybe? And then it turned out the high school girl was, in fact, knocked up, from the abstinence. And her mom was running for vice president, although it was pretty clear that she was angling for the top job, which she could maybe get after her try-anything enabler died of Extreme Old Age and Crankiness, on Inauguration Day, assuming those clowns could actually get elected, which they didn't, thank christ. Anyway, ABC News went and chased down poor dumb Levi Johnston again, now that Bristol Palin has officially done what everyone in America expected her to do: dump his lame ass, and "sanctity of marriage" be damned along with anything else inconvenient for the Palin Regime.

Some people, like your editor's co-editor S.K. Smith, feel "bad" about always hating on these waterhead kids, but that is silly. These Wasilla snowbillies are terrible. If you shot all the nation's Levi Johnstons into space and dumped them somewhere beyond the asteroid belt, America might have a chance to recover from its four-decade plunge into idiocy.

Anyway, there's video of this embarrassing encounter here, at the ABC News website. Basically, Levi has another shoddy version of the latest batch of televised lies from Bristol and whatever his sister "Mercedes" said to the supermarket tabloid. And maybe he and Bristol will get married later, once he is "mature." He might have his own little pill-dealing business someday!

Oh yeah and this:

"[There are] a lot of changes when you're a father, when you hold him for the first time, you know. I don't do a lot of things I used to anymore, I'll tell you that."

One of those lost pleasures is "banging Sarah Palin's daughter." Tragic.

Okay, we no longer care about this, so let's just paste in a screenshot of the teevee reporter's "twitter," just to cheapen all this a little bit more:


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