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Liberal Hobbit-Sized Canadian Car Shatters McCain's Skull!

Reporters were devastated this morning to find their best friend, John McCain, wearing two band-aids on the top of his head. Was he having some of his trademark cancer again? Worse! When he was in Canada, some shift-eyed car attacked him: “I was getting out of the car in Canada and I hit the roof a tiny bit, and the car was much smaller than the one I'm usually being ferried around in by the beloved Secret Service." See, this is why *Americans* drive SUVs. That little extra gas money is a fair price, since they offer such foolproof protection from hitting your head against the roof so badly that it bleeds. [CNN]

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