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Liberals Misconstrue Erick Erickson, Who Will Not Shoot Census Workers Like He Said He Would

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Wingnuts are, have been, and will be for the foreseeable future furious over the tyrannical overreach inherent in the ACS survey, a more detailed extension of the Census that the government will make a few million people fill out every year. Sometimes, if you are going out of your way to avoid it, ACS workers will visit your house urging you to fill it out. Erick Erickson, of CNN and RedState super-celebrity status, said yesterday that if this happened, he would take his wife's shotgun (!) and "and see how that little ACS twerp likes being scared at the door."

Erickson writes on his blog today that the damn liberals had "misconstrued" his comment, and people should listen to his radio show for further comment. Well, we missed today's episode.

He probably said that liberals were accusing him of trying to shoot ACS workers, when all he really said was that he would threaten them with a shotgun if they ever came to his property. Again: all he did was publicly threaten public employees with gun violence if they ever have to do their jobs.

ACS should call his bluff! Totally make Erick Erickson part of this year's sampling, ha ha. Go to his house. We're betting his wife keeps her shotgun locked away from him, until he learns to use it.

What else were we going to say in this lazy Friday post... oh right: it's pretty funny how the one complaint they keep raising is, "It's none of their business how many times we flush the toilet per day." Oh hell yeah you tell 'em there boss haw haw but then again WHO GIVES A SHIT. Aww, poor baby has to estimate for the government worker how many times he flushes the toilet a day! Wah, wah! Just think of what divulging THAT information would lead to! Might as well tattoo your taxpayer PIN and SSN to the ACS workers' cocks & boobs, if they're going to ask how many times you flush the fucking toilet per day, approximately.

ACS: Tell us, Erick, how many times do you think you and your family members flush the toilet per day?

ERICK SON OF ERICK: Alright, whatever. Ten? Let's go with ten.

ACS: You shouldn't have answered that, you FOOL. Now we have the legal right to STEAL AND EAT YOUR BABIES!!!! YOU SIGNED THE CONTRACT WITH YOUR ANSWER! MWAHHHAAA

It could happen here.

[Gawker]

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Donald Trump held another great big slob picnic in Orlando, Florida, last night, where he "announced" the "start" of his 2020 campaign, which will be exactly like his 2016 campaign except for the minor detail that he's actually been in the White House since 2017, which is really a bummer, man. Still, it's no reason he can't run as an outsider who vows to protect everyday Americans who believe he's just like them. The rally was a mishmash of the same damn shit he's said a million times before, and the rubes loved almost every minute of it except for the boring parts when he talked about stuff he's supposedly achieved in office, because not even his supporters care about trade policy or tariffs. They want an enemy, and they want to be told they and Trump will destroy that enemy together because they are the real Americans. So that's what Trump gave them, again and again, a feast of fear and resentment designed to get them to the polls. It was enough in 2016, and Trump thinks it'll do the job in 2020.

If there was anything new in the speech -- which was mostly Trump reading from a teleprompter, plus the expected weirdass asides -- nobody has identified it. He complained about the press and the crowd chanted "CNN sucks," and he explained what a threat to the nation Hillary Clinton is -- in fact, he mentioned her eight times during the 80-minute rant.

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