Time for another very important journalism article from the Christian Post! And to think this whole time, we've just been reading Christian Post for the porn.

Those kids at Liberty University are pissed off. We're not cheering them on wholeheartedly, because most of them are homophobic Bible-beating dinguses who believe in taking away people's autonomy over their own bodies. That being said!

What they're pissed off about is this "think tank" hosted by Liberty, called the Falkirk Center, which is the babydoll of Jerry "When I Think About You I Touch Myself While I Watch You Fuck My Wife (Allegedly!)" Falwell Jr. and small-faced Trump fascist weirdo Charlie Kirk. (Kirk got an "honorary doctorate" last year from Liberty, which means even less than an honorary doctorate from a real college.) The Liberty kids are concerned that the Falkirk Center, which as Joe.My.God notes is not a normal "think tank" in that it doesn't do academic research or any other kind of "thinking," is just fucking destroying their Christian witness. Joe also notes that Falwell's name no longer is on the Falkirk Center's website, even though he literally founded it with Kirk last year. (Get it? Fal-Kirk?)

Anyway, these Liberty kids want it kicked off the campus. They're true believers, and they may think you and I are godless heathens, but at least we're not being Trump fascist opportunist grifter whores in their God's name.


They started a petition called Liberty United Against Falkirk, and it is deliciously mean, saying the Falkirk Center since its inception has "waged war against decency, respect, and Christian charity, all while misrepresenting Liberty students and the Christian church." It goes on to name names of fellows at the Falkirk Center who are taking a big old dump on their Christian witness and destroying baby Jesus, calling them "wolves in sheep's clothing."

We are [...] concerned that the Falkirk Center has become a gateway for many wolves in sheep's clothing — people who claim Christ's name because it is convenient for their personal or political gain. These people are known as "fellows" for the Falkirk Center and have their quotes and messages shared by Falkirk's social media. Here is a sampling of what they have said:

"People I know and trust well have heard from God that Trump will have a second term." - Falkirk fellow Eric Metaxas

"I've never seen someone become more liberal politically while becoming more solid theologically" - Falkirk fellow Allie Beth Stuckey

"[Democrats] want to take your pickup truck, they want to rebuild your home, they want to take away your hamburgers. This is what Stalin dreamt about but never achieved." - Falkirk fellow Sebastian Gorka

"I could spend a full-time job just responding to the ridiculously illogical, inconsistent, and blatantly stupid arguments supporting Trump." - Falkirk fellow Jenna Ellis, March 2016

"This is an elite strike force team on behalf of the president and the campaign to make sure that our constitution is protected." - Falkirk fellow Jenna Ellis, November 2020

That right there is a who's who of the worst garbage humans in all of America. Eric Metaxas isn't very famous, but Media Matters has a whole archive on him. Here's one where he told Charlie Kirk that people need to "fight to the death, to the last drop of blood," because they are both too dumb to understand that 81 million Americans voted against Donald Trump because normal humans loathe the piece of shit that much.

Allie Beth Stuckey is some windsock, we don't know, but the quote they shared would be pretty funny to all the very solid theologians who became more liberal precisely because they know how to fucking read, especially in original languages.

And then there's Sebastian Gorka, one of Trump's favorite Nazis, and Jenna Ellis, who may be a worse lawyer than Rudy Giuliani, and who made us laugh for a week when she called Trump's legal team an "elite strike force." The two quotes in the Liberty kids' petition really show what a mindnumbing hypocrite Ellis is.

The petition continues:

The Falkirk Center constantly preaches the message that the church needs to defend Donald Trump at all costs and rescue western civilization. Falkirk is wrong. Associating any politician or political movement with Christianity bastardizes the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Students at Liberty are tired of having our witness tarnished by association with a center that is trying to undo Liberty's mission.

So GTFO, that's what they're saying.

Sounds like these are Christian kids who, despite whatever other hellish beliefs they hold about women and LGBTQ people, genuinely believe Matthew 28:19-20 when Jesus says, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you." Likewise, they DON'T like the Bible verse that says "Grab them by the pussy, be a Nazi, lie constantly, destroy people's lives, and bring about the most clownstupid incarnation of fascism you can imagine, because you don't worship Jesus, you worship a scaly flaky hunk of gargoyle smegma named Donald Trump, the dumbest person ever to be born in the United States."

And know why? Because THAT'S NOT A FUCKING BIBLE VERSE.

It's clearly Jerry Falwell's religion, though. And Charlie Kirk's. And Sebastian Gorka's. And Jenna Ellis's.

The Christian Post notes that the petition, which has been signed so far by 400 people, is squarely in line with these Twitter thoughts from Constance Schneider, president of the Liberty student body. She's quote-tweeting Joel Thomas, Liberty student body vice president:

We bring that up because, as you might expect, Liberty is doubling down in its support for the Falkirk Center, referring to these people as "detractors" of the "academic think tank" (LOL), like it's some rogue kids who only go to Liberty because their mom and dad force them to. Student government leadership is very much in this fight.

Anyway, the point is that Jerry Falwell and Charlie Kirk and Jenna Ellis and Sebastian Gorka are disgusting, and these Christian kids, who have had to endure Trump trying to spurt "Two Corinthians" at them from the beginning, are fuckin' sick of it.

GET 'EM, KIDS!

[petition / Christian Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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