Joe Biden and Kamala Harris did their first event together on Wednesday as running mates, and it was huge. There were balloons and a parade and Hunter Biden dressed up like a clown and yeah just kidding, we're in a pandemic and Democrats actually believe in science, so it was kinda weird. The two candidates addressed journalists in a big room all by themselves, but the livestream was great and had loud bouncy music and everything. Hooray!

We're gonna say it right now. You ready for us to say it? We're just gonna say it. Joe Biden picked a badass running mate.


Consider this passage spoken by Harris. Read every word and inject it into your veins and put it on a yard sign and make it your work email signature until November 3:

HARRIS: When other countries are following the science, Trump pushed miracle cures he saw on Fox News. While other countries were flattening the curve, he said the virus would just poof, go away, quote, like a miracle. So when other countries opened back up for business, what did we do? We had to shut down again. This virus has impacted almost every country, but there's a reason it has hit America worse than any other advanced nation. It's because of Trump's failure to take it seriously from the start, his refusal to get testing up and running, his flip flopping on social distancing and wearing masks, his delusional belief that he knows better than the experts.

All of that is the reason. And the reason that an American dies of COVID-19 every 80 seconds. It's why countless businesses have had to shut their doors for good. It's why there is complete chaos over when and how to reopen our schools. Mothers and fathers are confused and uncertain and angry about childcare and the safety of their kids at school. Whether they will be in danger if they go, or fall behind if they don't. Trump is also the reason millions of Americans are now unemployed. He inherited the longest economic expansion in history from Barack Obama and Joe Biden. And then, like everything else he inherited, he ran it straight into the ground.

And that, loves, is what the vice presidential candidate is supposed to do. Beat the shit out of them. She is going to make Trump and Mike Pence look like absolute clowns.

Here's the video if you missed it. It's only 34 minutes long, so you can watch it while you brush the cat.

Joe Biden Introduces Sen. Kamala Harris (D-CA) As Running Mate www.youtube.com

As Biden was introducing Harris, he told the story we've heard many times about how when Barack Obama chose him as his running mate, he asked Biden what he wanted, and Biden said he wanted to be the last voice in the room when the president had to make tough decisions. Now, he said, he is asking the same of Kamala Harris:

BIDEN: I told him I wanted to be the last person in the room before he made important decisions. That's what I asked Kamala, I asked Kamala to be the last voice in the room, to always tell me the truth, which she will, challenge my assumptions if she disagrees, ask the hard questions because that's the way we make the best decisions for the American people.

How nice it would be to have two incredibly smart people in the room again, and to have a president who's willing to be challenged by a brilliant, thoughtful vice president.

Biden also responded during the event to Trump's pathetic whining about Kamala Harris being "nasty":

BIDEN: Donald Trump has already started his attacks, calling Kamala "nasty," whining about how she is "mean" to his appointees. It's no surprise because whining is what Donald Trump does best, better than any president in American history.

Trump's whining continued this morning when he called Fox Business for his morning therapy session with Maria Bartiromo. Listen to him as he flails about, calling Kamala Harris a "mad woman," because of how mean she was to poor, pitiful, put-upon Brett Kavanaugh:

OK, whiner.

The Trump campaign also sent this fundraising email out last night, which had Twitter rolling around on the floor laughing:

"Kamala Harris is the meanest, most horrible, most disrespectful, MOST LIBERAL of anyone in the U.S. Senate, and I cannot believe that Joe Biden would pick her as his running mate."

That's it, that's all they've got. Oh yeah, and calling her "Phony Kamala." They have no fucking idea how to run against her. And yes, it's real.

By the way, Biden picking Harris seems to be doing a lot to invigorate a campaign that was already pretty invigorated, considering Biden's consistent and sometimes double-digit polling leads. The campaign raised $26 million American dollars in the first 24 hours after Biden announced his running mate.

Not bad for somebody who is so very MEAN AND DISRESPECTFUL.

[transcript]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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