Li'l Scandal Roundup: We'll Never Run Out
It's time for another edition of "Stuff not quite filthy enough for a whole post, because you basically need to rape a baby live on C-SPAN to get a whole post this month."
And we've got a Logo Winner, as you can see by the Logo. Thanks to Dan Milberg for the world's angriest baby -- you'd be angry if you were raped on C-SPAN, too!
Lots of congressional crime and even some hot abuse of the handicapped, after the jump.
* Rep. Barbara Cubin, the Republican who represents Wyoming's only district, got mad at her Libertarian opponent, Thomas Rankin. after a debate Sunday night. After the TV cameras were off, she threatened to slap the shit out of him. Rankin has multiple sclerosis and is confined to an electric wheelchair. Cubin refuses to return $22,500 from Tom DeLay because he hasn't been technically convicted of a crime. [Billings Gazette]
* The most corrupt congressman who hasn't resigned or been put in jail yet is Tom DeLay's disciple John Doolittle of California's 4th District. He's got the Jack Abramoff bribes, the Mark Foley donations, the man-dates with Duke Cunningham, and he personally steered $37 million to his best friend Brent Wilkes (who promptly gave Doolittle an $85,000 tip). Doolittle is one indictment away from the Hall of Fame (federal prison), but he somehow escaped national attention until the Washington Post discovered his out-of-nowhere opponent has a comical name: Charlie Brown. [Washington Post]
* Republican congressman J.D. Hayworth of Arizona's 5th District was too busy to make a candidate's forum at a synagogue last week, so he sent convicted criminal Jonathan Tratt instead. Tratt informed the Jews that Hayworth, a Christian, was a "more observant Jew" than the actual Jews. Most of the audience stormed out, but those who confronted the criminal got this response from his wife: "No wonder there are anti-Semites." Hayworth won't return more than $150,000 in bribes he took from Abramoff's Indian-Casino clients. [Arizona Republic]
* The five nastiest Senate campaign commercials come courtesy of Bob Corker (R-Tennesee), George Allen (R-Macaca), Jim Talent (R-Missouri), John Tester (D-Montana) and Sherrod Brown (D-Ohio). [10 Zen Monkeys]
* There's even more dirty campaign commercial YouTube goodness. [10 Zen Monkeys]
* None of this really matters, because the Republicans run the voting machines, which means they can do stuff like take Jim Webb's name off the electronic ballot and he can't do a goddamned thing about it. [Washington Post]
EARLIER: Lil' Scandal Roundup No. 1