There is a special kind of torture in watching Fox News's "Sunday Morning Futures."

Hosted by Maria Bartiromo, the Melissa Rivers to Jeanine Pirro's Joan Rivers, except for how they're not actually related, it's named to make you think it's about the stock market, but instead is a breeding ground and hangout for the worst assholes in GOP politics. Whether you are an insurrection-agitating former president or a congressman under investigation for underage sex trafficking or a disgraced former mayor of New York, Bartiromo will gladly let you into her conservative Mos Eisley Cantina to spread disinformation and bullshit.

Normally we don't include it in the Sunday show rundown because it barely ever qualifies as a legitimate news show, but sometimes a sonic boom of stupidity or scumbaggery happens there that cannot be ignored.

Enter Lindsey Graham, GOP senator of South Carolina and political remora.

Graham seemingly just can't decide if he's in the group of Republicans who wants a bipartisan infrastructure deal, and appeared to issue a veiled threat to Democrats, while proposing an idea to his own colleagues:

GRAHAM: If for some reason, they pass the budget resolution to bring that [$3.5 trillion] bill to the floor of the United States Senate … You gotta have a quorum to pass a bill in the Senate. I would leave before I'd let that happen. So, to my Republican colleagues, we may learn something from our Democratic friends in Texas when it comes to avoiding a $3.5 trillion tax-and-spend package. Leave town.

They say "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery," but there are some key differences between Texas Democratic state senators and Graham's proposed stunt, despite how wide-eyed excited Bartiromo was by Graham's idea. Texas Democrats are trying to stop voter suppression bills during a special session GOP Governor Greg Abbott called because he couldn't get away with it in regular session. Graham's proposed stunt is trying to deny passing a BIPARTISAN infrastructure bill because, despite Democrats saying from the beginning that they would be doing a separate reconciliation bill, he can't get his way. Texas Democrats are fighting FOR the voting rights of their constituents while Graham's proposal is AGAINST a plan for jobs for his.

Texas Democrats might eventually lose their fight, but Graham's proposal would meet a similar fate.

There's historical precedent. Republicans tried this during a 1988 debate over campaign finance reform. As detailed The Washington Post at the time:

Sen. Bob Packwood (R-Ore.) was carried feet first into the Senate chamber by Capitol Police early today as Democrats ordered the arrest of absent senators in a dramatic filibuster showdown over a Democratic bill on spending in senatorial campaigns. [...] Republicans called the Democrats' bluff by ordering a series of quorum calls and then vanishing, leaving only Minority Whip Alan K. Simpson (Wyo.) to hold the floor. Democrats were unable to muster a quorum on their own and, in a highly unusual move, voted to have the sergeant at arms arrest absent senators in a move to keep the Senate in session until a quorum of at least 51 senators could be obtained.

Shortly after midnight, a posse led by Sergeant at Arms [...] marched through the Capitol in pursuit of Republican senators, who apparently had gone into hiding [...] the posse combed the Senate office buildings and found Packwood, who, as he noted after he was deposited on the Senate floor, "did not come fully voluntarily."

Within minutes, one of the absent Democrats, presidential candidate Paul Simon (Ill.), arrived and the Democrats had their quorum. Majority Leader Robert C. Byrd (D-W.Va.) said he regretted the arrest but said he had no alternative and congratulated Packwood "on the fine spirit with which he accepted the inevitable."

While we wish we could do this reconciliation bill in a civil way, we'd be lying if we said the thought of Lindsey Graham or Mitch McConnell or Ted Cruz or Josh Hawley dragged feet first into the Senate chamber to watch Vice President Kamala Harris gavel passage of this bill wasn't an exciting prospect.

On second thought, Lindsey, go for it!

It certainly would be sight to behold.

Have a week.

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Michael Mora

Pop Culture observer & Comics fan. Amateur Movie Reviewer. Political Freelance Writer @wonkette. Marine, Husband & Dad. Opinions are mine only.

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