Y'all! Lindsey Graham is losin' his shit right now! About Robert Mueller!

Democrats asked forever for former special counsel Robert Mueller to come and testify in the Senate Judiciary Committee, and Lindsey was like "No, y'all! We can't be doin' that!"

But then Robert Mueller wrote an op-ed in the Washington Post this weekend sayin' Donald Trump shouldn't have given a Russian Reacharound to his good old buddy convicted felon Roger Stone! Y'all! Lindsey Graham's mad now! Russian Reacharounds are the official reacharounds of the Trump administration, and Lindsey Graham is a proud unofficial member of the Trump administration, so that offended him! Y'all!

Robert Mueller gonna need to come testify now! Therefore, Lindsey Graham's gonna approve that request for Mueller testimony from the Democrats, the one they don't want anymore! Take that!

Politico reports:

"He has a lot to account for — and we'll see how he does" at a potential hearing, Graham (R-S.C.) told former Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-S.C.) on a Fox News podcast.

Politico notes that WHO KNOWS if such a hearing will actually happen. Ain't shit scheduled, and we all know how Lindsey Graham gets a huff up in his puff when he's talking to the media, but scarcely anything happens. But not this time, Lindsey Graham says, not this time:

"From the first time he testified to now, a lot has changed," Graham said, noting that a Justice Department inspector general report dinged the FBI over its handling of a warrant application for Carter Page, a former Trump campaign adviser.

Wait, what else happened? Because yes, the IG report lightly dinged the FBI over its handling of the Carter Page FISA warrants, but that's about it. What else, Lindsey? What else?

He told Gowdy that the Mueller investigation was "probably one of the most corrupt investigations since J. Edgar Hoover at the FBI."

"I am hellbent on making sure that somebody investigates the investigators," Graham said. "The time has come for us to look at the other side of the story. Stay tuned. There's going to be a lot of stuff come out."

Oh fuck off.

You know what Robert Mueller said in that op-ed that was so ugly and made Lindsey Graham real mad, we bet? Mueller said Roger Stone is still a convicted felon. It was right there in the headline. Y'all! That is ugly talk! Criminals are people who aren't friends with Donald Trump!

"Bottom line is, I had no intention of calling Mr. Mueller. He testified before the House. It was not pretty to watch. But at the end of the day, Trey, he decided to interject himself into the Roger Stone case," Graham added.

How dare Robert Mueller "interject himself" into a case that was originally his case to begin with? Y'all!

Mueller wrote in the Post that his investigation was totally legitimate, Stone is a convicted felon, and Trump's BFF Vladimir Putin is a serious threat to American democracy, both in 2016 when he attacked the election to hurt Hillary Clinton and help Donald Trump, and right this very second.

If you are on the other side of that argument, like Lindsey Graham clearly is, well then ... you're on the other side of that argument. We can see why that might make Lindsey Graham's angry butt want to grind corn.

(That is not a gay joke, it is another southern expression for "mad.")



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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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