Lindsey Graham is looking for a new shark.

You see, much like a remora, Graham has spent his life clinging to figures like John McCain and Donald Trump. These symbiotic relationships allowed Graham to benefit from the protection and spoils provided by his hosts. But with Trump leaving office, Graham went on Maria Bartiromo's Fox News den of scum and villainy to praise his outgoing boss, while begging for "unity" (in not punishing Trump) from President-Elect Joe Biden, who used to be his friend.


After confirming he will attend Biden's inauguration, the former Navy JAG and current Republican jag-off quickly shifted to his real goal: being against everything Biden proposes, much like he did during the Obama presidency. In the interview he said he opposes the Paris Climate Agreement (which Biden announced he will be rejoining), mask mandates to get Covid under control, the Green New Deal, healthcare expansion, and DC/Puerto Rico statehood.

Much like Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain, Graham just "can't quit" Trump:

GRAHAM: Mr. President, your policies will stand the test of time. You're the most important figure in the Republican Party, you can shape the direction of the party, keep your movement alive. [...] You're leaving office with some of the most significant accomplishments in my lifetime. You brought order to chaos at the border. You rebuilt the military when it was on its back. You destroyed ISIS. You got five peace agreements [...] You got USMCA. You cut our taxes. [...] Just in a few months, President Trump will be looked at far different than he is today.

He did mildly plead with Trump not to pardon the insurgents who stormed the Capitol upon Trump's incitement:

GRAHAM: There's a lot of people urging the president to pardon folks who participated in the defiling the Capital. The rioters. I don't care if you went there and spread flowers on the floor, you breached the security of the Capital. You interrupted the joint session of Congress, you tried to intimidate us all, you should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law and to seek a pardon of these people would be wrong. It would be, I think it would destroy President Trump and I hope we don't go down that road. They chose to go in that Capitol, defile the Capitol ...

While of course trying to absolve Trump of responsibility for said incitement:

GRAHAM: President Trump never said "go into the Capitol and try to interrupt a joint session of Congress." That was the choice they made and they need to live with that choice.

Also somehow it was Nancy Pelosi's fault, somehow.

Graham demanded Joe Biden not to allow for accountability for Trump, under the faux guise of "unity":

GRAHAM: To Joe Biden, you talk about unifying the country. If you do not stand up against the impeachment of President Trump after he leaves office, you are an incredibly weak figure in American history. President Trump is trying to heal the nation. Pursuing impeachment after he leaves the office will further divide the country. It will ruin the start of your presidency, Joe Biden. You need to stand up to the "radical left" and tell Schumer to dismiss what I think is an unconstitutional attempt to impeach President Trump out of office. Stand down.

He even sent a letter!

The gall of a spineless weasel like Graham to call someone else weak is astonishing. After every craven thing he's done in service of Donald Trump, while this tweet from 2016 still exists on his Twitter:

Three years ago, the Washington Post made this video about Graham's whiplash-inducing about-face on Trump:

Here's an ad from Republican Voters Against Trump, about how much Lindsey Graham loved Joe Biden but then stopped loving him, for Trump:

And finally, here's former Obama National Security Advisor Susan Rice, who will also work in the Biden administration, calling Graham a "piece of shit."

That pretty much says it all!

The end.

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Michael Mora

Pop Culture observer & Comics fan. Amateur Movie Reviewer. Political Freelance Writer @wonkette. Marine, Husband & Dad. Opinions are mine only.

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