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Liveblogging Barack Obama's Government Procurement Responsibility Speech

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Pretty much every day for the past month President Obama has held a press conference explaining how he's going to fix yet another massive problem with the economy. Usually the solution is something like, "Print more money!" But today, he's floating a novel new plan: "Save more money." Bwaaah?


9:57 AM -- Those Geico ads. Do they really work?

10:01 AM -- Ah, this is all part of Peter Orszag's evil plan to take over the government by eliminating outsourcing and cost-plus contracts. Sounds nefarious!

10:02 AM -- Tamryn Hall is just flogging this NBC/WSJ poll that shows how popular Barack Obama is. Prediction: even though 54% of people say they're "confident in his policies," something like 1 zillion percent believe "his policies can't actually do anything to make us less poor." What does this prove? Nothing except that people cannot consistently answer poll questions.

10:09 AM -- It's official. Barack Obama is an egregious latesky. Fox News passive-aggressively shows the empty room that Barack Obama is supposed to be in, speechifying. Major Garrett explains why anybody should care about federal contracting. Answer: Because it costs money.

10:10 AM -- So basically this is just a plan to kill Blackwater, or "Xe," permanently. Man, Fox News is awesome, showing old people smoking pot while MSNBC drones about football players lost at sea. Time for a coffee break.

10:16 AM -- Barack Obama has tarried long enough that a Supreme Court lawsuit has been decided and three suicide bombers have struck outside Kabul while we've been waiting for him to give this stupid talk.

10:20 AM -- "Plus, chaos at Chuck E. Cheese!"

10:21 AM -- Oh is that you, Barry? If you were at the dentist's office, your appointment would have been CANCELLED ALREADY. Anyhow, let's get to it. "Listen, America," he says, "We are going to have to live on shit sandwiches and tears for the next 10 years. Sorry."

10:22 AM -- He is NOT a big librul: his budget reduces non-discretionary, non-defense spending over the next ten years. Now onto government contracts. He knows all about corrupt government contracting, because he is from Chicago.

10:23 AM -- Basically George Bush paid all of his favorite companies billions of dollars over the past 8 years because he did not want the government to have any money.

10:24 AM -- Ick, he looks sort of pale and shiny, at least on MSNBC. And like he needs a shave. And like he is just terribly disappointed with all the dummies who have been running things forever.

10:26 AM -- He wants to end investment in "unproven technologies," but then how, pray tell, shall we ever get our personal jet packs?

10:27 AM -- Hmm, somehow John McCain is involved in this? Him and Carl Levin, with some sort of bipartisan procurement reform dealy? Sounds boring and complicated! (Which means it is probably a secretly very good thing.)

10:28 AM -- Again, a remark about unproven technologies. Does this sound weird to anybody else? Has the Pentagon been dumping like $40 billion a year into wacky DARPA research into human-mosquito warbot hybrids or something?

10:30 AM -- That was quick! Was that Claire McCaskill in the crazy glasses? (Was too busy typing to look up.)

10:39 AM -- Speculation: perhaps "unproven technologies" refers specifically, in secret Roosian code, to the missile shield that has so irked Medvedev and Putin. What else have we been spending billions of dollars on, that Obama might like to stop spending money on while also making nice with Moscow? Well, there you go.

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It started with them damn hats. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. Ravelry.com – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend, Ravelry.com's founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

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One day, God willing, my grandchildren will click open their history textbooks and read about the Central American migrant internment camps. They'll learn about sick kids, locked in cages, kept hungry and dirty and cold for weeks on end, and they'll be horrified.

"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

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