Liveblogging Gov. Eliot Spitzer's Pimping Speech

Ruh roh, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer is a master of whores! A Hebrew pimp? A baldilocks whoremonger? A fishmonger dabbling in whores, with a cod piece of cold ethical hypocrisy? O, such country matters. Anyway, just what exactly is this Spitzer doing with these sloppy whores? Let's liveblog his press conference...


2:45 -- This 2:15 EDT press conference is not on time.

2:48 -- Ha ha, it's old people playing Wii! Read that, and then come back for the whore press conference.

2:50 -- Ooh look, Spitzer's victimized New York wife works for Hillary Clinton (PDF)! Now she can run for the Senate, after a listening tour.

2:53 -- A lady who wrote a book about Eliot Spitzer says, from London, that this is "very bad" for Eliot Spitzer. And that's why she's in London, where liars live.

2:59 -- But did Roger Clemens take steroids at Jose Conseco's house?

3:00 -- **A secret Wonkette operative in the New York Attorney General's office hears that Eliot Spitzer will resign.** But this may be false?

3:05 -- **Wonkette hears from its secret operative in the New York Attorney General's office that Spitzer is reportedly resigning. This is more substantive that the 3:00 entry, which also had two asterisks.**

3:08 -- Apparently, Spitzer may have been a client of "The Emperor's Club," where powerful men get their knob polished.

3:11 -- Spitzer is speaking!

3:12 -- He violated his family!

3:12 -- He apologizes to his family!

3:12 -- He apologizes to the public!

3:14 -- WORST PRESS CONFERENCE EVER. He didn't resign here, but he did talk for a whole 35 or 40 seconds, and that he would be "reporting back" to us. Thanks, whoremonger.

3:16 -- Here's what Democrat-friendly Fox News says: "Sources Tell FOX News N.Y Gov. Eliot Spitzer Will Be Indicted, Resign Over Involvement in Prostitution Ring."

3:18 -- That's the end of this liveblogging, until Spitzer "reports back" to us. Will he resign? Is he gay?

3:22 -- Nevermind, the liveblogging will go on forever. Here's what the NYT has to say now:

Gov. Eliot Spitzer has been caught on a federal wiretap arranging to meet with a high-priced prostitute at a Washington hotel last month, according to a person briefed on the federal investigation.

The wiretap recording, made during an investigation of a prostitution ring called Emperors Club VIP, captured a man identified as Client 9 on a telephone call confirming plans to have a woman travel from New York to Washington, where he had reserved a room. The person briefed on the case identified Mr. Spitzer as Client 9.



...HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!

3:26 -- Sounds like a great time to check out these sexy whores that Eliot Spitzer's been screwing. Ooh, did Client 9 fuck this one?:

Damn! Someone find a picture of the precise whore that Eliot Spitzer/Client 9 righteously fucked.

3:35 -- Liveblogging is done, again, for now. We will keep you informed on Client 9's latest prostitute sex.



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