Liveblogging Just Plain Regular Not Super Tuesday Presidential Primaries

Wonkette newsroom

It's that time of year that happens every four years when we binge-watch Americans voting almost every day. Especially if it is a day called Tuesday, super or otherwise.

Didn't we do this last Tuesday? Yes! Aren't we doing this next Tuesday? Yes! Are we going to spend the next zillion Tuesdays doing this, until Democrats decide whether to #HillsYes or #FeelTheBern and Republicans decide whether to delete their whole party and start over again? Yes, that too.

Tonight, our already weary eyes are on Michigan and Mississippi, where (most) polls close at 8 PM Eastern, and the media is expected to announce the winner in the Democratic race at approximately 8:01. That's our clever way of telling you polling suggests a not very tight race. AREN'T WE SO CLEVER?

As for Republicans, well, of course we expect Donald Trump to stomp on his little rivals, but as to the most important question of the night -- will Marco Rubio win second or third or dead last place? -- we don't know, but as per usual, we are looking forward to his victory speech.

Republicans are also going to the polls in Idaho, which close at 11 PM Eastern, aka, past our bedtime. Idaho Democrats -- that would be our dear Doktor Zoom, plus two of his friends -- will hold their caucus in two weeks.

Also, Republicans in Hawaii are doing a caucus to each other "tonight," but "tonight" in Hawaii is, like, breakfast time tomorrow here at Wonkette headquarters, so we'll point and laugh at them when we wake up. Also, we'll check to see how they caucused.

OK, ready ... set ... liveblog.



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