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Liveblogging McCain's S.C. Victory Speech

So it only took eight years for John McCain to win the South Carolina primary, hooray! Let's see what the happy old coot has to say.


10:03 PM -- Lots of dumb love for South Carolina, which totally destroyed him in 2000.

10:04 PM -- Truth, My Friends, Challenges, Truth, My Friends.

10:06 PM -- Jesus, McCain's mom is still alive and still looks better than her 89-year-old son. Of course, she wasn't tortured.

10:07 PM -- A funny thing is that McCain is actually pretty dishonest, and his "honesty" has changed state by state. For instance, in Michigan his honesty was pretty honest: No more jobs, Americans! But then he lost to Positive-Thinking Mitt. And all the sudden McCain was all optimistic about the economy!

10:08 PM -- Florida! Onward! Hey, do you know who was one of McCain's campaign co-chairs in Florida? Cock-sucking bathroom-goblin Bob Allen, that's who!

10:09 PM -- If McCain's president, we will all know what it's like to be tortured by the Viet Cong for years and years.

10:10 PM -- "USA USA USA!" Nothing like a good dumb Homer Simpson chant to show your supporters are idiots.

10:11 PM -- Wait, my friends, did we all inherit something? Are we rich?

10:12 PM -- McCain wants to give the poor and unemployed the impression that he's going to do something for them.

10:13 PM -- He wants to serve his country "a little while longer." Does he have AIDS?

10:14 PM -- Good night, Walnuts! Congratulations on a weird win.

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