Donate

Liveblogging The 8:30 (ET!) Wave Of Slightly Less Unimportant Results

News


It's slightly later now, which means that everything is more significant. Wolf Blitzer won't say "Sununu" much anymore, but still! Exciting things are afoot.

8:30 PM- Obama wins John McCain's precious New Hampshire. And not just Dixon Notch!

8:31 PM- There is a vaginally shaped hologram, and Wolf and Soledad are pointing at its ovaries.

8:31 PM- Gray haired, non-Anderson Cooper fox on CNN says that the race is a "blowout."

8:36 PM- Chris Matthews is talking about how VA was the capital of the Confederacy and how there are still streets named after Jefferson Davis.

8:36 PM- Georgia is called for McCain.

8:38 PM- Obama is described as "smokin" John McCain by Michael Smercornish. Chris Matthews gets such delight in the way he intones "Smerconish." It's adorable.

8:39 PM- Kevin Tibbles is in Grant Park. There is a be-Polo-shirted fellow in back of him, who appears to have vomited on himself. Tibbles isn't fazed.

8:40 PM- Obama is holding on to FL, 52/48.

8:41 PM- There are seventy million people in Grant Park. Oh and Sad Juxtaposition: CNN has someone embedded in McCain Sad Biltmore Fantasy. There are some old white men strumming plaintive melodies on guitars. It sounds like rock 'N roll!

8:44 PM- Ooh, Rachel Maddow points out that McCain has not flipped a state. Why is Rachel Maddow trying to ruin this for Nate Silver?

8:46 PM- Half the vote is in in VA (not UNREAL VA, there in the North). McCain is up. Chuck Todd tells everyone in Grant Park to "cool their heels."

8:47 PM- Chuck Todd knows Florida very well. His friends know Florida very well. They have doubts about Barry in Florida.

8:48 PM- The AX is back. He's talking to David Gregory about Pennsylvania. But onto other states, in which he is just thrilled, thrilled to compete.

8:49 PM- The Ax seems nervous. Rachel Maddow chimes in, asking him if he tried to TRICK McCain with Gotcha! campaigning by spending money in Georgia.

8:50 PM- Okay moving on from Axlerod. Oh it's James Carville on CNN. They're still talking about George Bush. If they wanted to talk about George Bush they should have been on the teevee in 2004.

8:52 PM- Ha, Paul Begala just called Pennsylvania McCain's "Alamo," when really the Alamo was McCain's Alamo.

8:53 PM- Godless atheist Hagan beats Elizabeth "Liddy" Dole in North Carolina.

8:54 PM- Pennsylvania Senator Bob Casey played basketball with Barack Obama today, a game on which Casey wagered all of Pennsylvania's electoral votes.

8:56 PM- Numerologist Nate Silver says that BHO is underperforming Kerry in the west of VA. (Remember, that's Real Virginia.) There is still Florida. There's always still Florida.

8:58 PM- McCain wins Alabama and its 9 electoral votes. Wolf assures us that this is not a huge "suprise-a."  Again, he says "Wymoning-a." Why is he talking like this tonight, when we all have to listen to him?

8:59 PM- Rhode Island, Michigan, Minnesota, and Hillary Clinton's New York go to Barry. Walnuts takes North Dakota and Dick Cheney's Wyoming.

9:00 PM- Soledad is point to the most confusing Jenga hologram. It's racially significant.

9:03 PM- The chart is of course broken, as one of the Jenga pieces which is a metahpor for "Age and Its Importance" slid off the top of the screen.

9:04 PM- Fox News briefly called Ohio for Hopey but it was just a mistake! A simple case of a misplaced checkmark. For shame.

9:04 PM- Obama is leading in NC (52/48) and Charlotte is still AWOL. Chuck Todd says that things in VA are tightening.

9:05 PM- McCain wins Arkansas.

9:05 PM- Here is Ken with the 538th liveblog of the night!

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc