Liveblogging The Cable News Blathering About The Pennsylvania Primary
Well friends this is what it comes down to: Begala and Bennett and some other people jabbering about Momentum and numbers vs. narrative. How long before Donna Brazile storms off the set in disgust along with all the other former Clinton staffers? Join us in this long night of misery.
8:30 PM -- Whatever, CNN. Rove's on Fox. Rove sees an opportunity for BITTER DEMOCRATS to "come home" to John McCain, who has enough bitterness for all America. Annnd commercial break. We are getting no love here. Fine, back to Blitzer.
8:33 PM -- John King has three blue pies, and they all look pretty much the same. Each spell Doom for America in slightly different ways. Scenario 1: Obama wins the popular vote in a squeaker if you only count the primaries. In Scenario 2, the same horror, only including the caucuses. And number three, primaries and caucuses plus Florida.
8:38 PM -- Blitzer points out that these blue pies are all boring in their own individual fashions, plus we forgot Puerto Rico. However, in each scenario Hillary LOSES. Now over to Bill Schneider, who points out that old people are totally predictable. And pretty much everyone in the Pennsylvania is ancient. Soledad's dress is really cute.
8:42 PM -- Early results are in, and of course they are completely meaningless, and Wolf Blitzer has a beard. Everything on the CNN set is the same placid shade of blue. Even Blitzer's tie. Fucking Nazis. Over to Fox! Or MSNBC! O hello Joe Scarborough, smugly smugly saying Wright Dukakis Libruls! Harold Ford Jr. scowling.
8:46 PM -- Hillary Clinton is running away with elderly voters! Somebody notify the guards at the nursing home. Now over to Olbermann and Matthews. Olbermann sports the official colors of wedding invitations and West Elm catalogs from '06: dark brown, light blue. Norah O'Donnell, meanwhile, is dressed for a cocktail party in the Radisson bar.
8:49 PM -- MSNBC projects a winner: Hillary Clinton. QUEL SURPRISE. Oh hey where is Chuck Todd, by the way? Olbermann, sportscaster that he is, notes that the main issue is not who wins but the spread.
8:53 PM -- More psychology vs. overunders vs money. Will the Clinton campaign limp or leap out of PA? Can we limp or leap off a bridge, now? Olbermann describes "a Wolfson at the door," which is funny for MSNBC.
8:56 PM -- Howard Fineman: six members of Congress are undeclared, and they are as we speak being harrassed and abused by the Clinton, Obama, and Gravel campaigns.