Everybody ready? It's a three-person match tonight, thanks to The Fascists, and at some point the candidates are supposed to ask each other weird questions. Expect a lot of racial tension! And live-blogging, of course. And tonight, we're keeping track in Nevada Time.

6:00 PM -- Mitt Romney is the New Mormon President of Michigan, hooray!

6:01 PM -- OH DEAR GOD TURN IT DOWN TURN IT DOWN THAT'S TOO LOUD.

6:01 PM -- So loud. Please turn the loudspeakers down, down, down.

6:01 PM -- I have no idea if the debate is really being held next door, in this same building. How would I know? It's like when NASA faked the moon landings.

6:06 PM -- Wait, who's birthday is it? I was getting coffee. Chris Matthews was blocking the coffee line.

6:06 PM -- John Edwards is a son of a what?

6:07 PM -- Barack doesn't know the "sit on the end of your suit jacket" trick. That's why his lapel is standing up around his neck, making him look like a Bobble Head. He totally doesn't have the experience to be president. (Note: John Edwards does know this trick.

6:09 PM -- Barry Bobble Head regrets getting caught spreading the "Clintons say black stuff" story.

6:12 PM -- Obama said "change." Drink!

6:13 PM -- Hillary needs that make-up gal again.

6:14 PM -- Oh fuck you Hillary, does anyone believe your guy wasn't calling Barry a dope addict?

6:21 PM -- Somebody is yelling something. "Race-based ..." Race-based what? Everybody just kind of sits there, looking around dully.

6:24 PM -- I could really care less who becomes president. New thread!