Do you know how many Americans have perished since Obama haspulled the plug on democracy? The answer is "countless." Alternately: millions. Billions, even, if you count the poor ones that Obama is always so gay about counting. The GOP will now shuffle someone out, "Charles Boustany", who will read the names of socialism's victims to the tune of Rod Blagojevich singing Elvis B-sides. It will be America's finest hour.

9:06 PM: "Afford" is the key word here, not "death robot."

9:07 PM: Promised health care pun! "This is not just my diagnosis" but all Americans just hated this speech. It's a medical fact.

9:08 PM: Obama totally missed his shot to change his mind about everything he was really never going to change his mind about.

9:09 PM: Dr. Charles Boustany operates on people who don't even need it, all the time.

9:10 PM: It's unfortunate, isn't it?, Obama doesn't want to allow Charles Boustany to import healthy patients from across state lines.

9:11 PM: Wonkette has diagnosed Charles Boustany with Stage LXIX Fag-itis. There is no cure.

9:12 PM: CNN is playing all the hits from the speech. They include: "Congress Isn't Going to Deny You Care," "Either Are Insurance Companies (As Soon As I Sign This Bill)," "Born to Run," and "No One Should Go Broke Because They Get Sick."

9:13 PM: (Your Wonkette liveblogist does not have the privilege—no the RIGHT—to watch anything but CNN, as there is a crucial Floor Meeting in her college dormitory that needs the teevee, for some reason.)

9:14 PM: What SHOCKS you, Paul Steinhauser?

9:16 PM: Public option is not a deal-breaker, this shocked me.

9:17 PM: No abortions, no death panels. There WAS John McCain though, which is... different?

9:18 PM: Who was the Lone Wingnut who yelled at Obama? Who even WAS that?

9:19 PM: It was a resounding cry of "You Lie!" It was the ghost of capitalism until proven otherwise.

9:20 PM: Some Republican members of the House brought signs, like to hold up... like while listening to our President.

9:21 PM: Boustany: the Republicans could not have gotten anyone better?

9:22 PM: No, they could not.

9:23 PM: Various Americans reacted in various ways to various parts of the speech!

9:24: CNN is now reading comments culled from its blog. These will now replace Charles Boustany describing his sick experiments on humans as the "official GOP reaction."

9:25 PM: Okay enough! YOU ARE ALL LATE TO THE FLOOR MEETING. Go, go!